I’ll break my current hiatus for one of these monthly updates. Lots going on so it’ll be quick. (for me, anyway ). What with my latest hobby (weight training) and the fact that each stolen moment is taken up by reading these days (hooray for my Kindle!) I don’t even “check” Xanga or even FB that much anymore. When I do, I’m rarely interested in seeing what people “share” that they saw online somewhere else! (I do try to search out “creative” entries but there are lots more copy/pasted stuff than original stuff among most of the posts I see.)

Here’s an observation. People on social networking sites on the internet always write about their “friends”. Who they admire. Who’s been supportive and who’s been “talking behind their back” etc. etc. etc. You know, I’ve lost nearly all my friends. On the internet, when people mention “friends” it’s usually someone with whom they connect online. For the current generation of young people, there is probably no disconnect whether a “friend” is “real” (i.e. you see them physically at school, around the hood, at work, or church, etc.) or “virtual” (in one of their “friends” lists on an online social networking site.) I’m pretty “old” in chronological years, but young in spirit. Whole groups of friends have perished, sometimes literally. A lot of folks I knew pretty well died. Many too early, but that’s life. (Er, death.) 

An “online” “friend” sent me an email the other day which supplied a link to another of her blogsites. There she had a different name than the one I’ve been calling her. When someone from Xanga “friends” me on Facebook, I never know who they are. The name on their Facebook site is completely different than the one on their Xanga site. Nobody much lets me know by which moniker I might have been calling them, either.) I’m convinced. Even though I’ve been online longer than some folks on the internet have possibly been alive (or aware, anyway) I’ve been a “presence” long enough that anyone wishing to “find” me can do so easily. I change my passwords a lot, but I don’t change my name. I remain, as always, Michael F. Nyiri, poet , philosopher, fool. If I don’t know somebody’s name, then I don’t know that person, no matter how many times they commented on my blog. No matter how many emails they may have sent me. Frankly, as I age, it confuses me. So I won’t think too much about it. But to me “online” friends aren’t “friends”. They’re simply connections, like acquaintances I make at work, or people who check me out at the market. 

Sometimes I think I’m possibly pretty lonesome. But I honestly like to be alone. The internet remains merely a tool for me to use, when I make the time to turn it on, that is.  

WORK: I rarely write about work because my Xanga blog is supposed to be a showcase for my “creative” side. I just want to put it in writing. 7 More Years. That’s how long I intend to work. It’s less than a decade. Sure, I’ll be 67. But now that I’m approaching 60, 70 doesn’t seem “old” to me. In seven years, I’ll retire. I’m planning to begin traveling next year, when the debt completely disappears. At work, I accomplish tasks. I take pleasure in what goes right, and I possibly get too upset when something goes wrong. Too many tasks I just used to accomplish on my own have been “farmed out’ to so many others who rarely even see or talk to each other, that the left hand of the company doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. I’ve taken a somewhat zenlike attitude towards what I do in any given day. (I will admit I still let things get to me, I’m not perfect, esp. when it comes to my emotions and bipolarity.) I may not be doing what I want to do. I may not be doing what I deem important. However, it doesn’t matter. In seven years I won’t even “be here” at work, except to come back and say hi to the folks still in the grind. I’m one for “preparing” and “planning” stuff. I’m planning my retirement. Work will end for me, in the not too distant future, and then it’s time for…

PLAY: I’m single, young, and free. I love to play. As I pay down my debts, and find myself with a little spending cash, I’m getting blurays of my favorite movies (Roger Rabbit is on his way to my house as we speak). I’m looking at places I’d like to go (the internet is a great tool for this) and I can bide my time finding the right “toys” to complement my computer rig. No more do I “collect” large amounts of episodes of TV shows I’ll never watch on my DVR. No more do I fantasize about what I’d be able to create with the latest thousand dollar video editing program I can’t even install on my old XP system. I’m finding that as I spend less time “worrying” or making plans that won’t ever happen, I can spend more time enjoying the small things I can accomplish right now. F’rinstance. Last weekend I really wanted to go to LACMA ( the Los Angeles Art museum.) However next week I’m possibly going to the Reagan Library (a longtime plan now coming to fruition). I can’t take videos at LACMA, so I passed on the impulse, and spent a lazy afternoon sitting in the sun instead. (with my Kindle by my side) In the past, I may just “take off” on a photo expedition, and find myself spending money I don’t have. Now that I have a little money, I take a bit more time to think, “do I really need to do this now?”. Usually, I don’t. And then before you know it, the day is done, and another, with it’s requisite plans, are on the horizon. As playtime increases, I’m finding that my previous frugality is paying me dividends in time as well as money now that I seem to have a little more of both!

DIET AND HEALTH: Just had my annual physical examination last Friday. One upcoming Xanga entry I’ve planned, and which will most probably be posted before the end of this month will be my “Ultimate Body Image” blog, complete with one of those “naked on Xanga” photos. Only this time I won’t really NEED to suck in my gut. I’m trading fat for muscle. I’m on a full weight training schedule, working out three times a week. (1/2 hour cardio, 1/2 hour stretching, 45 minutes weight training, which gets longer as I add more excercises.) I may make a Mike’s Video Blog detailing my workout. I’m in excellent health. Looked at my blood tests online this morning. My cholesterol is still a bit high. Doc will probably want to put me back on Lovastatin. Besides eating healthy, I’m now adding a “splurge day” every two weeks or so, usually on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, where I go to a restaurant and have a meal I can enjoy like I used to. (A mexican feast, or a trip to a Chinese buffet) One thing that’s changed from my “non healthy” days, however. When I go out, I don’t eat a gargantuan amount of food like I used to when I ate one big meal a day. (And I don’t get upset at myself for not eating every grain of rice on the plate either if I’m full.)

A “normal” day’s intake for me. Breakfast: Oatmeal (in Apple juice instead of water or milk) topped with rasins and almonds, plus a little cinnamon. Lunch: Instant noodles (The bachelor’s friend). (I try to stay away from egg noodles, which have cholesterol.) A sandwich (deli meats and jack cheese) and fruit. Dinner: A salad with either balsamic vinagrette or italian dressing. I drink lots of tea. Snacks are usually a carrot, a banana or greek yogurt. 

After “deflating” a little more of the “spare tire” around my waist, you can actually see my abs!

EXERCISE: Never in a million years would I have thought I’d know the names of the various muscles in the body or how many “reps” one should be doing in how many “sets” of a weight training exercise. I was always more apt to be the guy who got sand kicked in his face when young, and I never dreamed of getting toned and muscular. Now, I check lots of internet sites and watch lots of videos on YouTube looking for the right exercises to add to my workout. I’m not into “bodybuilding” but “strength training.” However my body is lookin’ pretty good I must say.

I began walking about two miles a day back when my doctor first told me my cholesterol was high. This was in 2001 or 2002. Last year, for my birthday, in May 2012, I added 5 pound dumbells, which I pumped as I walked. A little over a month ago, I added a standard weight bench, plus barbell, to my “weight room” area in my house. I don’t pump weights when I walk now. The walk is a cardio preliminary to the actual workout. This will all be detailed in an upcoming blog. I’m pretty serious about strength training. I should have done this ages ago! My posture is better. I don’t get “breathless” that easily. And this after only a month! My “plan” is to look like Dwayne Johnson by the end of the year! (Not really, but I’m amazed at how I can actually “feel” my muscle mass increasing!)

WEALTH: For the first time in my own financial history, I charged two meals and a video on a credit card last month, and paid the complete balance back to $0.00 when the bill was due this month. That old “consolidation” loan I took out in 2007 (and updated in 2009) for Forty Thousand dollars now has a balance of under 9 grand. (It will be completely paid off by 2014 at about this time!) I’ve cut up all but two credit cards. And my Amazon.com card is mainly used for free books and apps on the Kindle. 

VACATION/BIRTHDAY: I began a new annual practice last year when I took advantage of a free boat ride to Catalina Island on my birthday. Actually, the practice was begun earlier. In 2009 I took advantage of Disneyland’s free birthday ticket and spent my birthday in 2009 at Disneyland. I spent three days on Catalina, however, and took a “mini vacation.” This year, I am going to be loaned the keys to a vacation cabin (actually a five bedroom house) in Lake Arrowhead, and the week of my birthday, from April 29th through the end of the first week of May, I plan to be vacationing in Lake Arrowhead, in the San Bernadino mountains, about 5000 feet up. I’ll be sure to be taking my cameras. I love the mountains (almost) as much as I love the sea!

 PHILOSOPHY: 

I may wonder what it would be like to have sired children, and to be spending my time “with the grandkids” like pretty much everyone else my age, but then I read about some utterly incomprehensible happening and I’m glad I don’t find myself having to “explain” something I don’t understand to anybody.

I may wonder what it would be like to hold hands with a woman, and have a really close warm relationship, but then I read about how families are being torn apart by violence and how less and less love seems to be spread around the world.

I may wonder what I have lost, or have never found, or what may be “over the mountain” or what might have happened if this had occurred or if that hadn’t. But then I think about how wonderful the life is that I’m leading. Perhaps I’m not sharing it with anyone right now, and perhaps I may never do so. I am part and parcel of the Universal Existence, as is everyone else. And soon, hopefully not sooner than I’m ready for it to happen, the cosmic door will open and I shall pass through. Then perhaps, in Universal Ecstasy, I will find companionship with the universal essence of humankind. And I shall never wonder again.

Embrace the little things which matter, and don’t wonder long about the imponderables. 

Posted: March 19, 2013 8:50 AM