March 20, 2013

  • News and Notes for March 2013

    I’ll break my current hiatus for one of these monthly updates. Lots going on so it’ll be quick. (for me, anyway happy). What with my latest hobby (weight training) and the fact that each stolen moment is taken up by reading these days (hooray for my Kindle!) I don’t even “check” Xanga or even FB that much anymore. When I do, I’m rarely interested in seeing what people “share” that they saw online somewhere else! (I do try to search out “creative” entries but there are lots more copy/pasted stuff than original stuff among most of the posts I see.)

    Here’s an observation. People on social networking sites on the internet always write about their “friends”. Who they admire. Who’s been supportive and who’s been “talking behind their back” etc. etc. etc. You know, I’ve lost nearly all my friends. On the internet, when people mention “friends” it’s usually someone with whom they connect online. For the current generation of young people, there is probably no disconnect whether a “friend” is “real” (i.e. you see them physically at school, around the hood, at work, or church, etc.) or “virtual” (in one of their “friends” lists on an online social networking site.) I’m pretty “old” in chronological years, but young in spirit. Whole groups of friends have perished, sometimes literally. A lot of folks I knew pretty well died. Many too early, but that’s life. (Er, death.) 

    An “online” “friend” sent me an email the other day which supplied a link to another of her blogsites. There she had a different name than the one I’ve been calling her. When someone from Xanga “friends” me on Facebook, I never know who they are. The name on their Facebook site is completely different than the one on their Xanga site. Nobody much lets me know by which moniker I might have been calling them, either.) I’m convinced. Even though I’ve been online longer than some folks on the internet have possibly been alive (or aware, anyway) I’ve been a “presence” long enough that anyone wishing to “find” me can do so easily. I change my passwords a lot, but I don’t change my name. I remain, as always, Michael F. Nyiri, poet , philosopher, fool. If I don’t know somebody’s name, then I don’t know that person, no matter how many times they commented on my blog. No matter how many emails they may have sent me. Frankly, as I age, it confuses me. So I won’t think too much about it. But to me “online” friends aren’t “friends”. They’re simply connections, like acquaintances I make at work, or people who check me out at the market. 

    Sometimes I think I’m possibly pretty lonesome. But I honestly like to be alone. The internet remains merely a tool for me to use, when I make the time to turn it on, that is.  

    WORK: I rarely write about work because my Xanga blog is supposed to be a showcase for my “creative” side. I just want to put it in writing. 7 More Years. That’s how long I intend to work. It’s less than a decade. Sure, I’ll be 67. But now that I’m approaching 60, 70 doesn’t seem “old” to me. In seven years, I’ll retire. I’m planning to begin traveling next year, when the debt completely disappears. At work, I accomplish tasks. I take pleasure in what goes right, and I possibly get too upset when something goes wrong. Too many tasks I just used to accomplish on my own have been “farmed out’ to so many others who rarely even see or talk to each other, that the left hand of the company doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. I’ve taken a somewhat zenlike attitude towards what I do in any given day. (I will admit I still let things get to me, I’m not perfect, esp. when it comes to my emotions and bipolarity.) I may not be doing what I want to do. I may not be doing what I deem important. However, it doesn’t matter. In seven years I won’t even “be here” at work, except to come back and say hi to the folks still in the grind. I’m one for “preparing” and “planning” stuff. I’m planning my retirement. Work will end for me, in the not too distant future, and then it’s time for…

    PLAY: I’m single, young, and free. I love to play. As I pay down my debts, and find myself with a little spending cash, I’m getting blurays of my favorite movies (Roger Rabbit is on his way to my house as we speak). I’m looking at places I’d like to go (the internet is a great tool for this) and I can bide my time finding the right “toys” to complement my computer rig. No more do I “collect” large amounts of episodes of TV shows I’ll never watch on my DVR. No more do I fantasize about what I’d be able to create with the latest thousand dollar video editing program I can’t even install on my old XP system. I’m finding that as I spend less time “worrying” or making plans that won’t ever happen, I can spend more time enjoying the small things I can accomplish right now. F’rinstance. Last weekend I really wanted to go to LACMA ( the Los Angeles Art museum.) However next week I’m possibly going to the Reagan Library (a longtime plan now coming to fruition). I can’t take videos at LACMA, so I passed on the impulse, and spent a lazy afternoon sitting in the sun instead. (with my Kindle by my side) In the past, I may just “take off” on a photo expedition, and find myself spending money I don’t have. Now that I have a little money, I take a bit more time to think, “do I really need to do this now?”. Usually, I don’t. And then before you know it, the day is done, and another, with it’s requisite plans, are on the horizon. As playtime increases, I’m finding that my previous frugality is paying me dividends in time as well as money now that I seem to have a little more of both!

    DIET AND HEALTH: Just had my annual physical examination last Friday. One upcoming Xanga entry I’ve planned, and which will most probably be posted before the end of this month will be my “Ultimate Body Image” blog, complete with one of those “naked on Xanga” photos. Only this time I won’t really NEED to suck in my gut. I’m trading fat for muscle. I’m on a full weight training schedule, working out three times a week. (1/2 hour cardio, 1/2 hour stretching, 45 minutes weight training, which gets longer as I add more excercises.) I may make a Mike’s Video Blog detailing my workout. I’m in excellent health. Looked at my blood tests online this morning. My cholesterol is still a bit high. Doc will probably want to put me back on Lovastatin. Besides eating healthy, I’m now adding a “splurge day” every two weeks or so, usually on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, where I go to a restaurant and have a meal I can enjoy like I used to. (A mexican feast, or a trip to a Chinese buffet) One thing that’s changed from my “non healthy” days, however. When I go out, I don’t eat a gargantuan amount of food like I used to when I ate one big meal a day. (And I don’t get upset at myself for not eating every grain of rice on the plate either if I’m full.)

    A “normal” day’s intake for me. Breakfast: Oatmeal (in Apple juice instead of water or milk) topped with rasins and almonds, plus a little cinnamon. Lunch: Instant noodles (The bachelor’s friend). (I try to stay away from egg noodles, which have cholesterol.) A sandwich (deli meats and jack cheese) and fruit. Dinner: A salad with either balsamic vinagrette or italian dressing. I drink lots of tea. Snacks are usually a carrot, a banana or greek yogurt. 

    After “deflating” a little more of the “spare tire” around my waist, you can actually see my abs!

    EXERCISE: Never in a million years would I have thought I’d know the names of the various muscles in the body or how many “reps” one should be doing in how many “sets” of a weight training exercise. I was always more apt to be the guy who got sand kicked in his face when young, and I never dreamed of getting toned and muscular. Now, I check lots of internet sites and watch lots of videos on YouTube looking for the right exercises to add to my workout. I’m not into “bodybuilding” but “strength training.” However my body is lookin’ pretty good I must say.

    I began walking about two miles a day back when my doctor first told me my cholesterol was high. This was in 2001 or 2002. Last year, for my birthday, in May 2012, I added 5 pound dumbells, which I pumped as I walked. A little over a month ago, I added a standard weight bench, plus barbell, to my “weight room” area in my house. I don’t pump weights when I walk now. The walk is a cardio preliminary to the actual workout. This will all be detailed in an upcoming blog. I’m pretty serious about strength training. I should have done this ages ago! My posture is better. I don’t get “breathless” that easily. And this after only a month! My “plan” is to look like Dwayne Johnson by the end of the year! (Not really, but I’m amazed at how I can actually “feel” my muscle mass increasing!)

    WEALTH: For the first time in my own financial history, I charged two meals and a video on a credit card last month, and paid the complete balance back to $0.00 when the bill was due this month. That old “consolidation” loan I took out in 2007 (and updated in 2009) for Forty Thousand dollars now has a balance of under 9 grand. (It will be completely paid off by 2014 at about this time!) I’ve cut up all but two credit cards. And my Amazon.com card is mainly used for free books and apps on the Kindle. 

    VACATION/BIRTHDAY: I began a new annual practice last year when I took advantage of a free boat ride to Catalina Island on my birthday. Actually, the practice was begun earlier. In 2009 I took advantage of Disneyland’s free birthday ticket and spent my birthday in 2009 at Disneyland. I spent three days on Catalina, however, and took a “mini vacation.” This year, I am going to be loaned the keys to a vacation cabin (actually a five bedroom house) in Lake Arrowhead, and the week of my birthday, from April 29th through the end of the first week of May, I plan to be vacationing in Lake Arrowhead, in the San Bernadino mountains, about 5000 feet up. I’ll be sure to be taking my cameras. I love the mountains (almost) as much as I love the sea!

     PHILOSOPHY: 

    I may wonder what it would be like to have sired children, and to be spending my time “with the grandkids” like pretty much everyone else my age, but then I read about some utterly incomprehensible happening and I’m glad I don’t find myself having to “explain” something I don’t understand to anybody.

    I may wonder what it would be like to hold hands with a woman, and have a really close warm relationship, but then I read about how families are being torn apart by violence and how less and less love seems to be spread around the world.

    I may wonder what I have lost, or have never found, or what may be “over the mountain” or what might have happened if this had occurred or if that hadn’t. But then I think about how wonderful the life is that I’m leading. Perhaps I’m not sharing it with anyone right now, and perhaps I may never do so. I am part and parcel of the Universal Existence, as is everyone else. And soon, hopefully not sooner than I’m ready for it to happen, the cosmic door will open and I shall pass through. Then perhaps, in Universal Ecstasy, I will find companionship with the universal essence of humankind. And I shall never wonder again.

    Embrace the little things which matter, and don’t wonder long about the imponderables. 

    Posted: March 19, 2013 8:50 AM

Comments (16)

  • Wow. I see a lot of change in you and I’m not talking about the physical stuff. Anyway, God bless you, Mike. 

  • I got a Kindle Fire a month ago, and I’m addicted to it. I haven’t read any books on it yet, I’ve been watching TV shows and streaming movies to my TV through it. Amazon really has this thing figured out. They must make a fortune on people like me, renting TV shows, buying apps, and buying things because I can get free shipping (I’m a real sucker for free shipping).

    It sounds like you are getting healthier and healthier while some of the rest of us “middle-aged” people get complacent. I keep saying I’m going to start walking again, but so far, it hasn’t happened.

    I’m glad you’re planning for your retirement. I see so many young people spending all the money they make on things for today. But, when you’re young, you think you will never get old.

  • Hi Mike! Your last paragraph + last sentence really struck a chord with me, ty for your words.

     We have had a brief discussion concerning ‘friends’ on Xanga in the past; i find it difficult to make friends in ‘real life’, for some of the reasons you alluded to in this post, but want to let you know that i consider you my virtual friend, and that is real to me, so thx for being you:]

    You mentioned your bipolarity in this post, and have mentioned it in past, not to be rude, and please feel free to ignore the questions, but have you been diagnosed as such? How do you deal with the condition?

    Always a pleasure to read you. Love n Peace — Lyn

  • Hey, Mike! Seems like you have a good balance in your life. And your “Philosophy” is especially meaningful to me. I need to remember that last line! I hope you keep finding time for dancing!
    HUGS!!!

  • Well I guess I am an exception to the rule and you will know me as PPhilip. We run parallel lives and I tend to just live frugally and did do a minimal amount of family life and have two kids that don’t need contact with dad.

    It is easy for a caring person to be caught up with others who are needy. Looks like I do my volunteer life on days off and other days frantically comment and do occasional blogs at night.  I suppose I could put in more hobby time into looking at things visually. However maybe I am sort of frantic to leave something behind besides genetics.

    It was a good update, I understand how you are now feeling your age and trying to secure your future. That reminds me of my saying: “If I knew I would live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

    My e book is a palm pilot device. They are now not too expensive and I can put USA today and BBC news in it every two days to read in my spare time. There are corridors of life still to explore and sometimes I relate some of my discoveries here on xanga.

  • Actually, I view my most of my Xanga friends as actual friends! Some I have “known” longer, and they are closer friends.

    Wow, you are really pursuing fitness avidly! That is one thing I would like to get more serious about. Changing one bad habit at a time is enough for me, so fitness will have its turn later.

  • Nice to see you post again Mike :)

  • @QweenCat - Maha, I still allow situations (at work, mostly, which takes up a good chunk of my life) to get the better of my common sense. I’m forever working on this. The most incredible change is my attitude toward socializing. My ill fated attempts used to bother me. Now I realize I’m pretty content without social engagements. It does still bother me a bit that my overtures to my brother and sister over the years have not gained fruition in the form of any “reunions”. We’re all in the same state (California) but separated by many miles and many years. I console myself that I’ve made attempts to reconnect. 

    @whyzat - Dian, The guys who run Amazon are incredible. I tried Prime, but I don’t mind waiting a while to get something I purchased. I wanted to sample the streaming film collection. I passed after the free month. I don’t think they’ve added any “new” titles of merit since last December when I used the service. I was a longtime Netflix subscriber (since 2002!). Dropped them when they attempted to charge me twice what I was already paying for streaming plus blu ray delivery. Now I keep blu-ray.com bookmarked, and track my favorite movie titles by price index. I was upset when Amazon dropped the price of the Bond 50 collection of all the James Bond films by 30 bucks right after I bought it. A quick email, and I got a $30.00 refund on my card. I enjoy doing business with them. The worst streaming service is Hulu Plus. They charge $7.99 a month, like Netflix, but force one to watch adverts! And don’t have a large film collection. 
    @an_OM_aly - @suzyQ_darnit - Linda, Suzy, As I reread my entry, I do seem a bit harsh comparing internet friends to the gal at the market checkout. I do treasure my internet friendships. The “usual suspects” show up here on my blog all the time, including you two. I also find that my “Facebook Observation” posts are “followed” by select friends who used to be on Xanga but “moved on”. However, I’m a writer. I like people to “read me like a book”. As you know, I don’t “chat” or do the “Instant Message” thing. I correspond. A more apt comparison would be that internet friends are like correspondents in far away lands. The overall effect is similar to “pen pals” in the days of old. The instantaneous nature of internet correspondence makes it sometimes “seem” as if we’re “talking to each other” but we’re not. 
    @adamswomanback - Eve. I never  have to”find time for dancing.” I dance through life. I’m a natural dancer. I’ve been dancing since youth. (And usually without a partner, which is sometimes a letdown.)  One of the great things about living in a mobile home is the elevated floor makes a real resonant place to clog and tap dance in my kitchen.
    @PPhilip - Philip. I always make a point not to write two “L’s” when I spell your name in a salutation. After over a decade posting on the internet, pretty much all of my memoirs have already been “published”. So I’ve already left my legacy, as long as it all stays online of course. (And thanks to the Wayback Machine at the Internet Archive everything pretty much does these days.) Your saying resonates with me. I began seeing a doctor annually since I turned 40. In my 20s and 30s I never looked farther than having a good time after I got off work. As I age, I gain more enlightenment however, and I not only live each day as if it’s my last, I actually am looking forward to what lies beyond this mortal existence. I’m itching to find out if my epiphanies are true. Deep down I trust my inner voice, and I know they are. 
    @Shining_Garnet - Eden, And nice to have you come back and read me when I do, my dear.

  • Hi again Mike! Thank you for placing the links on my site, and i wonder how i missed your post from last year. Thank you too for being so open and honest, you are a true jewel in our Xanga community:]

    Love n Peace — Lyn

  • Thanks for your update. I had been thinking that it had been a long time since I got a “Daily Digest” alert that you had posted. I think your life is sounding very good. I think it’s great that you are exercising, weight training, walking, and dancing. I can understand not having time for Xanga & Facebook anymore. My Xanga posts are getting less, but I’ll keep them up even if it gets longer between posts sometimes. I’m interracting with Facebook more because my family and “real friends” communicate there more. On Xanga, I have acquired some “real friends” as well and two of them were my friends before I joined them on Xanga due to the insistence of one of them, mommachatter. Most of those who were my subs when I joined in 2005 are gone from Xanga and have joined Facebook, some other social network or none. I have acquired new subs, but most of them do not visit my site when I post. I hae beome upfront that my priority in following others goes to those who make attempts to connect with me on my site, given how much time it takes to post on Xanga and to read other and comment on other sites. Anyway, I appreciate your friendship, your creative posts and I support your taking time for other activities that contribute in a positive was to your life and well-being. I especially like your final sentence: “Embrace the little things which matter, and don’t wonder long about the imponderables.”  ~~Blessings ‘n Cheers

  • Mike, your posts are as interesting as ever. Along with your other faithful virtual friends, I enjoy reading/ seeing about how you are doing, as I have for a good many years now.Other than xanga, we don’t have too much personally in common – I’ve been happily married for 50 years, retired for the past 28, and have done a good deal of world traveling. I’m a good deal older than you (83 this April) and I’m sure have read a good many more obituaries I have a facebook site (doesn’t everyone?) – under my own name ( Richard Goodhart ) but I don’t uses it much. I’ve recently posted a comment/photos at my site that explains where “tychecat”comes from.Please stay “single, young, and free” Dick

  • @baldmike2004 - I know what you mean. However, I was a little heartbroken at the fact that you’re drifting away from here. You’re one of the oldest friends I have here, and though you don’t like using that word for online acquaintances. 

  • Dear Mike, just had a thought, and wanted to share with you. I agree with what you write about friends, that physical presence seems necessary for our (humans) reality. But, i also think that i think how easy it is for our minds to ‘fool’ us. (haha, made me think of your sign-off) That’s one of the reasons illusions catch my attention, and why i posted a couple of them recently.  Kind of The Matrix thingie: are we really so sure what is real and what is virtual, and does the twain meet some how, some where? Real, virtual, some fuzzy in between, you have touched something in me by your presence  here on Xa, that’s real to my mind, and i sincerely thank you from my heart to yours. .Love n Peace ~ Lyn 

  • thanks for the updates, and I am happy at the positive points made i..e health, wealth.

    Like some of the other commentators, or your Xangan connections (if you’d prefer) herein, while I do share some of the same sentiments you do about internet acquaintances, I am saddened that you’re drifting.

    Social media may be shallow, and the lines between a real friend and online friend are often blurred, but it is not always negative. While identities may be shady, some people tend to feel more comfortable sharing deeper aspects of their problems than with friends they meet on a daily basis. Others may need a shield for their identity because they may be someone who is well-known in their city, and hence?

    You are entitled to your views, but just don’t stop writing please. Your topics are interesting and often, thoughts-stirring.

  • Sounds like you’re doing fine, physically and financially. It’s good that you’re working out and dreaming big, and still churning out awesome blogs and poetry. We don’t see many people like you around here anymore.

  • You could go to orphanage and do volunteer works, you will be the kid’s father figure and you can share them your tales and adventures.

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