December 13, 2004

• ElectricPoetry: 1978

   

  “Not to Fall in Love with You”  (a Cathy poem)
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © April 12th, 1978

  
  I’m trying hard not to fall in love with you
  And I really can’t say why.
  You make me laugh
  You make me feel good
  And at night you make me cry.

  You have a life of your own, this I know
  And I do not want to impose
  But emotion is relentless
  And It always crowds in
  And I’ll never stop it, I suppose.

  So don’t think I’ll tell you yet I want you
  And I’ll try to forget what I feel
  My mind will not let me
  However hard I try
  Only with you will my countenance conceal

  I’m trying hard not to fall in love with you
  I’m trying, but it does no use
  Do not be afraid
  I won’t be a bother
  Though, my intentions
  Even though you don’t mean it
  you will always abuse.

  I’m sorry
  But that’s the way it is.

  “Puzzle” (a Cathy poem)
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © April 25th, 1978

  
  It’s all so wonderful for me, right now.

  Without you, I’d be the same
  Interested only in ideals.
  So now how have I changed?
  Hard for me to spell it out.

  Time increases my affection
  However much you may stall
  Although you don’t act like you’re stalling.
  This time I think I might love you.

  Science can teach us nothing about emotion’
  Over and over it shows us  it is unusual,
  Metering itself to no one who asks.
  Even now I wonder am I asking?
  Does emotion ever give two people to each other.
  Along time I might wait, to have
  Your emotion for me.

  You don’t ‘have’ to give it, just being ‘you’
  Overjoys my soul.
  Understand I cannot control what’s happening

  Consider that we might have shared souls.
  Outwardly I sometimes
  Upset you…..but do I?
  Love might have its fast forward button pushed
  Details might be worked out later.

  Love is a strange word, it is all-encompassing.
  Over the years it has become romanticized.
  Very often no one understands it
  Even I do not understand it all.

  My feelings for you need not be
  Evenly filed and categorized.

  Cathy, you may not mean to mean
  Alot to me, but you do.
  The truth is, I can’t help myself.
  Heaven rests peaceably in your smile.
  You make it all so wonderful for me, now.

  (NOTE:  “I wish that someday you could love me, Cathy” is spelled out if you read the first letter of each line.” This is commonly called “anacrostic poetry” but I thought I was the only one doing this type when I wrote them back in the 70s. MFN)

  
  “Solitaire” (44th Cathy poem)
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © September 18, 1978 6:15 p.m

  
  I know it’s late and I can’t sleep
  I see the light, I sigh to weep
  Remember darting eyes so close to my face
  I turn around and wipe a tear
  Face in my pillow, a stifled “dear”
  Remember darting eyes so close to my face

  Those darting eyes I realize
  Are filled with touching care
  They answer whats they answer whys
  They have love, all they can spare
  But I need you right here and now
  I need you standing there
  I’m in the dark I’m in the night I’m nowhere
  I’m playing solitaire
  Oh solitaire

  I want to know when you’re not there
  Do you really, yes you seem to care
  Remember friendly lips
  Remember finger tips
  Remember darting eyes so close to my face
  Up out of bed eyes closed so tight
  I feel like screaming so full of fight
  Please tell me Jesus
  Just try to please us
  Remember darting eyes so close to my face

  Those darting eyes I realize
  Are filled with touching care
  They answer whats they answer whys
  They have love, all they can spare
  But I need you right here and now
  I need you standing there
  I’m in the dark I’m in the night I’m nowhere
  I’m playing solitaire
  Oh solitaire

  I’m in a lonely, enraptured bind
  And I can’t blame you, you’ve been so kind
  Remember darting eyes so close to my face
  I’ve waited eons, to feel your love
  The stars fell out of the sky above
  Remember darting eyes so close to my face.

  Those darting eyes I realize
  Are filled with touching care
  They answer whats they answer whys
  They have love, all they can spare
  But I need you right here and now
  I need you standing there
  I’m in the dark I’m in the night I’m nowhere
  I’m playing solitaire
  Oh solitaire
  I’m playing solitaire
  Oh solitaire

  (NOTE: This is actually a song, and I wrote the music for it as well. MFN)

  
  “What More to Say” (the last Cathy poem)
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © December 24, 1978 12:20 p.m.

  
  I love you as a man should love a woman
  I could be beside you through good times and pain
  I need you and I’ve always felt you need me
  And I suffer through the subtle hints you feign

  I cannot steal you from yourself
  I know you’re strong and will do what’s right for you
  I’ve witnessed weeks you’re happy without my presence
  I know that’s not a trick that love can do

  Someday you’ll feel true love, I know
  The tender touch, the passion, and the tears
  And when you find him even I’ll be happy
  Cause for you love will last for years and years

  No matter what happens, I’ll never stop loving you
  I’ll always remember the beautiful dream I had
  I guess there’ll come a time when I’ll stop crying
  And be able for good to bundle up the sad

  I’ve faced the odds and tried to make you love me
  I’ve changed for you whenever I found a way
  I’ll never completely close the book on trying
  But for now there’s really nothing left to say.

  The Cathy Poems are a series of sixty poems written in the year 1978 when I was merely a lad of 25 years. I met Cathy Davidson when I joined the FedMart retail organization. She was a cashier. Tall, elegant, with a twinkle in her eye and a smile that could melt butter, I fell in love as soon as I laid my eyes upon her, and I tried to win her love for a nearly a year. Beginning in April, and commencing until December of 1978, I composed poem after poem, and gave Cathy copies as I wrote them. When the “courtship” ended without her reciprocation, I presented her with a small hardbound book with the complete hand written series in order. In this, the second Xanga blog entry containing some of the “Cathy Poems” I present  the newly transcribed “What More to Say” which was the very last poem written for her, and the last poem in the book I gave her.
  The poems, “A Song to Sing Out Loud” (1st Cathy poem), “Spring Fever Once Again”, “The Great Battle Twixt Mind and Heart Rages On” (20th Cathy poem), and  “The Land of Poetry” can be read on the November 9th entry of WhenWordsCollide. The complete series of poems already transcribed is available on the 1978 page of ElectricPoetry

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