December 17, 2004

• ComputerBS

   

  Unforseen Frustrations.

  Unforgiven Crashes and loss of information.

  Unknown upgrades which cause former programs to freeze and lock.

  All in a day's work as ComputerBS engulfs our lives.

  The following essay was written for the ComputerBS Section of AllThingsMike in June of 1999 merely a month after starting to design websites using the Homestead Editor. MFN  (edited for this blog entry.)

  
  Computers yeah right.
  I like computers.
  I really do like computers. I like what they might be like in about five years. In five years when I can get an artistic fulfillment from what I can create in their programs. When I can shoot, edit, and output DVD quality video. When I can communicate with a cross-setion of humanity at the same time where we can all see and interact with each other even though we are miles, or many miles or even billions and billions of miles away. When I can realize my dreams with holodeck-like rooms in my house.
  When there are robots.

  But today I have been having problems.

  I like my Homestead website. For a month now, I have edited quite the site,and truth be told, had always wanted a site and never saw anything that was as easy as this, if I must say so myself, and I almost fully realize that this "super-word processor/printing/imaging" program they call the Homestead Editor is the best and easiest way for anybody to create an informative and exciting web page. I do wish it had more fonts.
  Hell, I must have about two billion fonts on my computer. Why can't I import them into these pages?

  Anyway.
  When I try to access my page from the site, I get a strange message. The message I get is that the editor doesn't support my browser, that I have to "upgrade" to a new version of Netscape or Explorer. Well, originally, after I first heard about Homestead and wanted to create my first site, I couldn't even get one on Homestead because I had a beta version of Explorer 5.0 and their editor only supported the published version, you know, the one I overwrote with the beta version so I could instantly have access to my address book and e-mail history from the earlier browser. To get a Homestead page, which by the way has made me quite the webmaster when I can access the damn thing hence this missive, I installed a two year old version of Netscape 4.0 which was hanging around eating up valuable three year old massive 2 gigabyte hard drive space.

  For a month the site has been well. So much so that I even downloaded Homestead Publisher beta, version 1.0.
  That way I could create pages on my computer and upload them to the site. I also started using the Netscape Composer program more for text exercises (more fonts but less image manipulation.) and to write my first electronic book, which is spurring my creativity, which is causing me to think that maybe I might even like computers even before robots get here.

  But a funny thing happened.

  The folks over at Netscape informed me by an electronic request window the other day that I should "upgrade" to Netscape Communicator 4.6. Of course I overwrote to the same location, sort of like I used to do with Bill Gates product, and the next time I tried to access Homestead from the site, I got that really strange message. It's a pretty blue on white.

  I wrote them an e-mail. I let them know about my little feeble small inconsequential I am only a very small byte in the overall electronic scheme of things thank you very much problems. The web-bot who lives in their e-mail program immediately sent me a reply, responding to the active words "Homestead Publisher Version 1.0" and "beta" . The e-mail message?
  "Thank you for your interest in Homestead Publisher."
  Thanks? Not answers. Not suggestions about how they might go ahead solving my little problems. Not even pity did they bestow upon me.
  Thanks.

  So then I thought, well , let's try the Homestead Publisher again.
  So far there have been problems. When uploading a page, the internet connection severs, or I can upload some pages and they show up in an unedited version. I think I might have overwrote to something I had changed on the site but because the site doesn't recognize my browser but recognizes their own Homestead Publisher thank you that only saves what was on the old Composer pages which were uploaded as files? The mind boggles.

  Now I will attempt to upload this page, create a link to it on another page, see which pages are corrupt from the site without using the editor interface, and only my Netscape 4.6.  
  I like computers.I like what they will be like in 5 years when I can use one program to do all these things.....

  The ComputerBS page will salute/condemn the computer. What it is now. What I want it to become. The virtual self and the Universal mind. The right connections for a digital tomorrow.

  (NOTE: It is five years later, and we still don't have robots, but computing power is substantially greater than it was when I wrote this, and we can make DVD's with our computers now. I've got three computers in the house. The "latest" was purchased in 2001 (Windows XP operating system). The one before it in 1999 (Windows 98 operating system) and the first was in 1996 (Windows 95 upgraded to 98) The first computer is useless. I think the hard drive holds 3 gigabytes. The second is used as my backup. It became my main puter for a while earlier this year when I had to perform a clean re-install of the operating system on the latest because of a virus. I've even cannibalized parts from my home puters to insure my work computer is faster and more reliable. The ComputerBS section was created to highlight essays about comupting, but like a lot of the grand ideas I had for AllThingsMike in the early days, I rarely updated and then sort of "forgot" the section. There are some links that don't work, because pages were saved on different servers. Even though a lot of my stuff was posted on Geocities, which is Yahoo's web hosting service, they disappear after a while when one doesn't "update" the pages. When common sense makes me realize I bought too many computers on credit, then my eyes are open to why I carry so much debt. These things were pretty expensive in the late 90s. I cancelled my subscription to PC Magazine, stopped watching Tech TV, and don't go to the Consumer Electronics Show every year, and now I'm certain that I don't have to continually upgrade all the time, because no matter what I get, there will be something better in a few months. Five years from now, maybe we'll finally have robots, and I'll leave the computer decisions to him. MFN 12/17/04)

  • 8:06 am
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