December 8, 2004

• Why Do These Things Happen at Christmas?

  
  

  Every office has a gal like Angel (not her real name). Angel is the gal who organizes the company birthday parties, always remembers to say hi to every one in the most pleasant voice every day. No matter what is going on, she answers the phone with this most pleasant voice, and makes the caller feel like he/she is the most special person in the world. She loves holidays, birthdays, and parties, and is the most open and lovable person in the office.

  
  

  Angel is a cancer survivor at 41, having had a masectomy over 10 years ago and is now healthy. She has a loving husband, a mother who is ill but still hanging in there in her 80s, and such wonderful children. Being black and living in the city of Compton, California, was always pretty hard on her, trying to maintain a wholesome and loving family in a city filled with strife and gangs, and she and her husband bought a house in Long Beach a few years ago, which put her and the family in a better position culturally. She is just one of those people who brighten your day with her presence.

  
  

  Yesterday I was joking to one of the gals at work about the fact that only about half of the doorways were garlanded and a lot of us didn’ have our “Christmas stockings” hung at our door. “Wasn’t Angel doing the decorations?” I asked. What happened to her today? I haven’t seen her after lunch at all.”

  
  

  “Oh, didn’t you hear. She had a death in the family, and had to go home.”

  
  

  It seems that Angel’s sister in law by marriage passed away suddenly from complications of a stroke at age 50. Her husband’s brother, the woman’s wife, is a long haul truck driver, and currently away on a run. The couple’s 10 year old son has Down’s Syndrome. I replied immediately as I heard the news: “Why do these things happen at Christmas?” It isn’t bad enough that people suddenly die, and grief becomes overwhelming for family members, friends, and close acqauintences. Angel was in the midst of decorating the office, one of her little “projects” that make people feel better, when suddenly, her goodwill and charm are replaced by grief and sadness.

  
  

  I pray for Angel today and hope that her husband and brother in law and his family are taking this as well as can be expected. I am now 51, and hearing that someone my age has suddenly expired gives me cause to ponder my own existence again, and how lucky I am to “be here”.

  
  

  This morning the half hung garlands bear testimony to the fact that things never work out as planned, and we have to recognize this in our lives. That tragedy has to happen during the Holiday Season is a sad irony, but one which we shall have to accept. I can remember doubting why the pastor would always seemingly dismiss tragedy in the congregation with the words, “It’s God’s will.” Because I didn’t understand then what that really meant, I doubted that a loving God would cause such pain.

  
  

  But life, (and it’s ultimate consequence, death) goes on. People are born, they live, they die. These are, truly “the facts” of existence. We can only believe that after our life, there is ‘a better place’ we go. I believe in the Universal Mind, where we all connect with the cosmos and the minds of all mankind and all life, past present and future, and we come to “the realization” that everything is connected, and we find the “answers” to existence. It’s a garden walk through Heaven’s Gates, and Angel’s sister in law has gone to “this better place”. It doesn’t cause any more comfort to her surviving family, and it still is sad that things like this happen during the Holiday Season, but they do.

  
  

  And until we pass away, we shall have to “live with this.” Sad as it may seem, and then move on.

  • 9:54 am
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