July 8, 2013

• The Nearly Lost Weekend

  

  The Nearly Lost Weekend in the Middle of the Week:

  A 4th of July Almost Horror Story Without Much Fireworks

  A few days before the Independence Day holiday I joked to a coworker after she mentioned my nearly incessant yawning that it had been a long day, and I was in fact suffering from a bit of insomnia for a couple of nights previous which sometimes caused me to get sleepy late the next workday.

  “I guess I gotta start drinking again..” I mused, to great amusement.

  Well, we had our 4th of July party and barbecue at work on the afternoon of the 3rd. We celebrated the life of our recently departed CEO, laughing and reminising. I kept bypassing the myriad salads, snacks, and heaping piles of hot dogs and hamburgers, making an attempt to have a feast yet not to stuff myself too bad. We do have alcohol at the Christmas parties, and our controller joked that somebody forgot the beer. When we left, we were each given a small bonus. So since I had some extra cash in my pocket, I stopped by the market on the way home. It was only Wednesday, but I felt like partying. My joke about “starting drinking again” made to my coworker notwithstanding, I was full and hearty, and felt like warming myself with some spirits. Now I usually drink only on Friday nights. I’ve blogged about this, and even showed the drink I usually mix in my last Mike’s Video Blog. I usually drink what I call “Mike’s Energy Bombers”, Monster M-80 mixed with fruit nectar, a little rum, lots of ice, and blended till it’s a smoothie. Tastes great. Doesn’t get me too drunk, is not all that filling, and it keeps me alert and a bit high. On the shelf next to the rum at the Food4Less I spied a 1.7liter bottle of “Captain Morgan’s Long Island Iced Tea” (on sale for $15.98 too!) The drink was pre mixed. “I think I’ll drink a bit of THIS in celebration” I convinced myself. I poured myself a nice tall “iced tea” when I got home. By the next afternoon, I had experienced one of those “Lost Weekends” (somewhat like the old Billy Wilder movie starring Ray Milland). I didn’t experience “The Hangover” however, which is a good thing. (Was that a monkey?)

  I was once a notorious drunk whom my friends didn’t like to take out to bars. After sloshing away 7 or 8 beers, I would start drinking ‘boilermakers’ with Jack Daniels chasers. In my youth, I also used to “chug pitchers” for the next round at our Saturday night Shakey’s Pizza parties. I liked to drink. I liked to socialize. Frankly, I liked to get drunk. But I sometimes (usually) drank too much, and I would black out. (Not “pass out” although that too sometimes occurred.) and do and say things I never remembered the next day. It’s a wonder I got home some nights. I’ve written blog entries about my nights in the drunk tank, etc. etc. etc. I stopped drinking alcohol cold turkey at two separate points in my lifetime, one for a five year period, and another for four years. I like to think I ‘drink responsibly’ at present, and do not drive, nor get myself in a position where I would need to do so when imbibing.

  The bottle of Long Island Iced Tea was 17 percent alcohol by volume. Not only was there rum, but gin, vodka, and tequila. When I bagged the bottle at the market, an old geezer in line after me said “I’ll join you in a drink!” (He didn’t look like he was joking either.) “Sorry, I’m driving.” I chortled, “But look, you don’t even need to waste time mixing anymore…”

  Before I ramble on, let me assure you nothing went horribly wrong. I didn’t black out. I didn’t wake from a two day bender with blood on my hands, wet clothing, or a splitting headache. I didn’t get tattooed. I didn’t go smashing light poles with a hammer thinking there were eyes in them like that time when I was tripping on LSD in the 70s. I didn’t get “social” and go out to a bar. All that happened is I drank most of the whole bottle, went to bed, and began drinking again the next afternoon.

  I spilled some of the drink at one time on my scale and fried the electronics. I spilled some on the kitchen floor. I mopped everything up. I may have hurt my shoulder when I (fell down? bumped into a doorway? still don’t recall.) I didn’t destroy anything. I didn’t make an ass out myself. But I did go on Facebook and Xanga and “drunk post” which I don’t usually do. (I said “usually”) I embarrassed myself only in knowing that I let the alcohol manage me instead of the other way around. Knowing that people make mistakes, and that I’ve made plenty in the past, made me a bit aware that I could have done something for which I may have had to regret. In my youth, I wouldn’t have cared. “If I don’t remember it happening, it must not have happened…” was one of my old sayings.

  That evening the lamp in my 2008 Mitsubishi big screen TV went out. (I knew this was going to happen.It was past time for it to happen, and I should have added the bulb with my last service before the 5 year contract expired.) “I need a new TV” I proclaimed to nobody in particular as I poured myself a drink the next afternoon. My alcohol fueled reasoning was not to be trusted as receiving a bonus (and word that a wage increase might happen as well in the near future) and drinking a 17% alcohol filled cocktail (hey I didn’t mix it!) energized me to go searching for a “deal” on a new 65″ 3D TV on the internet. (like I did back last “Black Friday” when I bought so many blu ray collectible movies at great prices.)

  Now I NEED a new computer. I don’t NEED a 65″ monster TV (Want one, yeah. need one, no way, not at this time.) Let me tell ya, I shopped, ogled, picked out, and actually got the wheels turning by clicking the little button on amazon.com that sends an order to the “shopping cart.” I purchased a Samsung bigscreen online, and if only for the fact that I didn’t have a high enough ceiling on my credit amount (and knowing amazon, it’s a wonder they didn’t just automatically raise it) I would be accepting delivery of the monster (It was a thousand dollars off!) this coming Wednesday.

  The total for the alleged “purchase” came to just under three grand. That would have plunged me pretty deep into debt again. My “debt ceiling” which has been pretty low I can almost touch it lately would have skyrocketed to the stratosphere. I don’t have room for the TV. I’d have to rearrange furniture. When the little popup on amazon.com asked if I wanted to “share” my purchase on Facebook, I did so, with a great flourish.

  As my “high” faded along with the rest of the day, and before any 4th of July fireworks began to stream across the sky, I got an email notice telling me my purchase couldn’t be followed through, because I didn’t have enough credit on my amazon card. Soberly, I immediately signed on to the site, cancelled the purchase, (plus the purchase of $336.00 for a five year warranty.) I searched for, and found the bulb I needed for the DLP TV and made that purchase instead, for $109.00. The bulb will be here by Wednesday, the fateful day, when, if I had had enough of a credit limit with amazon.com, I would have seen a big truck drive in front of my house containing not just any 65″ 3D Samsung TV, but the top of their line. (It was ON SALE, I’m tellin ya!)

  In time, possibly before the end of the year, I will definitely look into making a purchase for a larger monitor than the one I currently use. I’m expecting the increased brightness made possible by the new OEM lamp is going to make it seem as if the picture is “better” than it has been lately, owing to the old lamp losing it’s lustre before it blew, as it were.

  I’d position a larger (but remarkably slimmer, almost “hang on the wall slimmer”) monitor along the far wall of the living room. I’d arrange seating along the two walls adjacent to the monitor. In the center of the room, about 8 to 10 feet from the monitor would be my “command chair”. I could reasonably put a sofa, a loveseat, and another chair around the perimeter, along with the lazy boy I’d use as the command chair. This would allow for 5 or 6 pretty good views besides mine. The “new TV” would be shipped with four pairs of 3D glasses, and I already have 2 pair. That means I could have “movie nights” with 6 people for 3D films. Possibly up to 10 people (stools in back of the “command chair perhaps) for non 3D movies. 

  In my unreasonable drunken stupor prior to coming to my senses (On FB I posted “It was a great dream, but I woke up!” in a comment to the “drunk post” containing the TV specs.) I did bring out the measuring tape, and realized I could very well rearrange my furniture, and set up a pretty neat viewing space in my current home. I could have “Mike’s Movie Nights” at the park, putting up an advertisement on the clubhouse bulletin board with only as many “slips” with my phone number as I need for any given viewing. If I wanted 5 viewers for a 3D movie, for instance, I’d “advertise” with only five slips, and the first five neighbors who responded would become charter members of my “club.” Each week I could offer a new film, including old Betty Boop and Looney Tunes cartoons, and short subjects consisting of my very own MikeVideo Internet Movies. I’d have a kitty for payment for snacks. The movie would be free. But I could conceivably make a little profit on popcorn and candy. After all, that’s were real theater managers make their money anyway.

  “Back in the Day” I may have gotten so inebriated that I’d find paint scratches on the car, damage to apartment walls, broken mirrors and ripped posters. Damp stinky clothing. I even got beat up a few times, and over my “drunk story history” have “lost” my spectacles numerous times.

  This past “nearly lost weekend” in the middle of the week, I got drunk again. So drunk I nearly bought a 3000 dollar television monitor online. Thank the Lord I learned my lesson before I actually accepted delivery of the dang thing. I would have enjoyed it, that’s for sure, and I will at whatever future time I do indulge in this purchase. However, I wouldn’t have enjoyed seeing skyrocketing minimum payments on my amazon card (on which I’m supposed to be paying the total every month so it’s always at zero.) 

  Ask anyone. I do like my iced tea.

  But from now on it won’t be brewed in Long Island. No matter how sweet it tastes!

  (This was going to be News and Notes for July, but got too long…so N&N will appear here with it’s regular mix of health, wealth, and welfare notes in the near future. Soberly written too! MFN/ppf)

   CHECK OUT THE VIDEO specs FOR THE Samsung UN65F7100 65″ smart TV MONITOR!

  • 6:22 pm
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