May 21, 2011

  • Whatever Happened to The Hampster Dancers

    And other internet phenoms?
    Original LolCat. ca. 1905.
    I've always wanted to be "internet famous." I got online in 1997, and by 1999 I had created my "electronic experiment in art", the AllThingsMike website, which I "engineered" to showcase the creative side of my personality. I started writing, as it says in that little sidebar to the left of my blogpage, in 1997, at the age of 14, while in the 7th grade. I'd been drawing since before then. I began my videography career in 1986. I predicted :"we'd all have our own television stations on the web" a full six years before someone came up with the idea to create YouTube.

    My plan, as early as 1999, was to create one internet meme, or viral video or image, that would circumnavigate the web, and a couple of weeks later, show up in my email inbox as an attachment, from one of my email correspondents, who "found it on the web" and didn't know I'd created it.

    As a Xanga blogger, I've always yearned to have a certain degree of "Xangalebrity", and I have "engineered" certain entries to get to the "top of top blogs." Sometimes this even works.

    But for the most part, I'm an unknown blogger. I might have been called a "Xangalegend" a few times, but I figure I'll be remembered when I pass from the Xangasphere for my comments, and not my entires. I've never created that single internet phenomena, even after over a decade of uselessly trying.

    Jusin Beiber made 53 million dollars last year. He started out when his mother posted videos of him singing on YouTube. Gosh, I wish that could have been me.

    Well, I figured I'd track down some of the early "internet stars" and find out "where are they now?" Let's begin, shall we?

    Dancing Baby 1996
    Dancing Baby was one of the very first internet stars. He even superseded internet fame and appeared on the Fox TV show Ally McBeal.What ever happened to this early internet star?

    We tracked him down. Now 15, he still wears diapers, and he's a homeless teenager living in squalor in Los Angeles, CA. Here's what he has to say:

    "You know, when you only have a couple of computer animated moves, there isn't much you can aspire to. I made about a dozen gifs and early avi's but computer graphics were really prehistoric in the mid 90s.

    I had my fifteen minutes, and then I started to grow up. I never could find clothes that would fit me, and I still wear this stupid diaper. Good thing I'm not female. Well, maybe if I were, I'd have gotten at least another 15 minutes, because of my boobs. LOL. I push a shopping cart full of bottles and cans I collect to recycle and hopefully make enough money to eat. Of course, as a computer animation, I dont' eat much. It's a hard life, but I have my memories, and sometimes I will dance for quarters. Would you like me to perform a few moves for you, kind sir?"

    Hampster Dance 1997
    At first, there were only a few of them, lined up neatly, and dancing to an incredibly catchy tune, which repeated itself endlessly, just like the gif loops of the few hamsters themselves. Where are they now, those lovable hamster dancers. It's interesting to note that the first internet sensations were all dancers. I guess you could surmise that they created the whole "Dancing with the Stars", "So You Think You Can Dance" reality programming trend.

    "Nobody even knew how to spell hamster", claims one of the founding dancers. Another chirps, in a really squeaky high voice, "Yeah, it's a wonder we became famous at all, because you wouldn't get to our website if you knew how to spell."

    The hamsters spawned so may knockoff dancers that after a while they became boring and quaint. Plus that song. I can't get it OUT OF MY HEAD! Little Leroy, the third hamster pictured above, relates, simply: "Dedadedadidedududepadididudadadepadadepadadadededdadeodadadedadedeo
    dadadedadadedududepadidiodadadepdadadepadadadededadidu"

    Gerbil in a microwave 1999
    Back in 1999, animations made with the Flash program, created by the Macromedia company, became all the rage on the internet.

    The most famous Flash animations of all are of course South Park, an animated Comedy Central TV show.

    By using the program, anybody could become a famous cartoonist. One of the early internet cartoons made using this program was the infamous Gerbil in a Microwave. We remember his salute to DNA as his eyeball seemed to survive the nuking he received, but sadly, he did perish back in 1999, and no trace of him can be found, including the stray eyeball seen at the end of the video. Sorry, folks, no interview.

    Jib Jab This Land is Your Land 2004
    During the primary season for the  presidential elections in 2004, the folks at Jib Jab created a viral video which was sung to the tune of Woody Guthrie's "This Land is Your Land". It was an internet sensation. It pitted Republican George W. Bush, who later won the election, with Democrat John Kerry. It made the folks at Jib Jab internet creators extraordinaire, and viewers were delighted with the sarcastic "jabs" at both candidates.

    You know, come to think of it, Kerry didn't even run against Bush in 2004. Let's see, it was Obama in 2008, and he won. And I remember it was Al Gore in 2000, and he actually got the popular vote, but for the first time in the history of U.S. elections, he lost the electoral vote, giving Bushie the prize. Who the hell ran against Bush in 2004?

    Charlie the Unicorn 2005
    Charlie never made it to the Candy Mountain. He was shot, killed, ground up and processed for cat food. Word has it that a lot of Lolcats enjoyed poor Charlie as their evening meal back in about 2007 or so. Charlie was king of the animated unicorns during his fifteen minutes of fame back there in 2005.

    But now he's dogmeat. I mean, catmeat.

    Sorry, Charlie.

    Again, due to the untimely demise of the personality, we cannot provide an interview. But perhaps you;ll join me and the other two annoying unicorns for a trip to Candy Mountain?

    LolCat 2006
    In the beginning, there was a little cat. A ceiling cat. A basement cat. A cat who craved cheezeburgers. They invented their own language. They wrote their own Bible. They were, and in certain cases, still are, quite ubiquitous on the internet. The infamous LolCats are the embodiment of internet fame. They came, they saw, they hid in your computers and watched you masturbate. They overcame any resistance, because who can resist a cute cat? The original LolCat is now four years old. That's four years old in cat years. He is still overweight, and still craves those cheezeburgers.

    This is what he had to say:

    "I ar in your interwebz and can has cheezeburgers for life. I iz lookin at u. No wun can escape uz LolCatz cuz we is supreme.

    I iz steeling yur credit card information now."

    The Annoying Orange 2009
    "Hey apple. Hey apple. Hey apple.

    Hey tomato. Hey tomato. Hey tomato.

    Hey celery. Hey celery.

    Hey.

    Hey anybody.

    Hey, is anybody there?"

    The annoying orange got so annoying nobody even cares to listen to him anymore. He had one of the shortest runs at internet celebrity, simply because, besides being so annoying, he scares the living daylights out of me! Somebody squeezed him and turned him into a carton of "Annoying Orange Juice." He ended up on a shelf at an A and P in New Jersey, and nobody has ever purchased him, causing him to be thrown out after his expiration date.

    Well, there you have it. Internet fame is really not all it's cracked up to be. These internet celebrities are poor, wanting, and miserable, if they're not dead, like some of them.

    Perhaps I'm lucky. I have a dedicated readership. I've been on the internet continuously for over a decade, and on this here Xanga service for seven years come Memorial Day. At least I didn't end up like that Annoying Orange. Hey Apple!

    Posted: May 20, 2011 11:01 PM

Comments (590)

  • Google "Memebase"...I have a pair of teenagers in the house. Between addictinggames and Memebase [and yes, the icanhascheezeburger site's multi-tiered lineup]...there have been many hours wasted.

    Someone also ran the entire gameplay of various videogames; I watched, alongside the kids, the game Portal2, listening to the sardonic, sarcastic GLADOS and getting pulled into the storyline.

    Even now, some of my contemporaries have passed me, "internet classics" in the email [wait: what? yes, "internet classics"], as well as "internet oldies", with some gems dug up from 4chan's earlier posts [no, I do not recommend 4chan...]

    Another interesting phenomenon - on the television, for a cat food commercial, I saw a bunch of "golden moldy" internet videos right there, on the HDTV screen.

    I've watched various high-budget "webisodes" like The Guild, Red vs Blue,  among others - broadcast storyline series specifically for online viewing only

    It's weird...some of the overbudgeted YouTube series have gathered more media presence than your local television broadcast.

    Then, there's Rebecka Black's song, "Friday"...which the kids use to torture each other.

    It's too hard to keep up with the kids...

  • i was thinking you were going more this way with the dancing hamsters...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytBDsr1GILI&feature=fvst

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ-CDE_r_wg

    you can get with this... 

    happy anniversary  -

    or you can get with that...

    and many more....

  • I know where all these went...
    two words for you, Mike.
    COMMERCIALIZATION.

  • I love Charlie the Unicorn!!  He is my favorite. 

    Hey, what about Trololo?  http://youtu.be/2Z4m4lnjxkY

  • @gottobereal64 - Dear Gretchen. I had a lot more internet celebrites selected, but it was late, and you know how I can go on and on in one of my entries. I want to share a "xanga secret" with you. Remember when I blogged that my "media drive" got cooked and I lost all my movie files? Well, I had 3/4 of a video finished. It was called "Xangaroll" and is based on the Eduard Khil footage. My head was on his body, and the "nonsense song" included, instead of "lalala" "xangaxangaxanga" etc.. At certain points in the video, images of past "top bloggers" and "xangalebrities" would appear. It was a grand project, (certain to make top blogs. LOL) It was pretty funny, if I do say so myself. Now it's gone.

    I may recreate the whole thing at some point in the future, but for now, when I think about Trololo, I think about my lost footage, and the hours I put into a project which is now pfffft. MFN/ppf

  • @baldmike2004 - Oh, man, that is a bummer.  I would have liked to see that. 

  • Wow, that all takes me back.

  • Well, judging by the way these things turned out, maybe you're better off not being a celebrity. Fame has its price, you know.

  • LOLcats will reign over the land of the internet... FOR ALL TIME!

  • Hi Michael,

    I think you are one of the most genuine Xangans I have ever the pleasure to meet online. I took time to read your other posts anonymously (because I don't wish to be seen as a stalker... hahaha).

    I wish more people drop by to read this marvelous post. I love the LOL cats, the dancing baby, the mouthy orange and other cultural phenomenon.

    With your permission, I would like to subscibe to your site and use it as a reference in my studies. I will credit you of course.

    Sincerely, Faye.

  • ryc : What I meant by that is I use some of the information gathered by you. I didn't mean using the blogs are a direct reference, but more about the details, the nuggets of information especially regarding pop culture, which I hardly know anything about.

    Thank you for your permission to subscribe. Your blogs are good source of knowledge and reference.

  • I remember the dancing baby because of commercials only.  never saw it on the web.  The lolcatz i love but I never could figure out the website so I ordered the books instead.  And I tune in to "caturday" at both godfatherofgreenbay's xanga and robofthesky's.  Loves me some cats.

  • You know, other than the dancing baby, I've never seen any of these.  Perhaps I'm fortunate not to have friends who send emails with these sorts of things attached to them.

  • How could you forget about "all your base are belong to us"?

  • Oh my gosh... I totally love LOL cats!
    I don't know much about the rest, I think I've seen the dancing baby somewhere before.

  • That's a great post.. I think all your posts are great.

  • Oh by the way, thank you so much for your nice comment on my post!

  • Well I am glad you are still here; you make for interesting reading and I appreciate that you put so much energy in creating enjoyable posts.

  • Hey, Mike!
    HA! This is great! What a fun post! I haven't thought about some of these in years! I always loved the hamsters! But then I love dancing!
    HUGS!

  • I'm wondering you like the cat, do you have a funny cat too?

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