December 22, 2010

• News and Notes for December 2010

   

  

  Romance:

  I met a girl. At my age, I figured I would just never meet anyone for whom I had an attraction, never fall in love again, and never again have sex. (And if I do ever get the chance for that, I’ll need to go to my doctor for pills to help me out.)

  I’m feeling very conflicted about this gal. At the same time I can’t get her out of my mind. You can’t imagine how long it’s been since that happened to me. I’ll fill you in on the particulars in a moment. First, a bit of history, most of which has been detailed in these blogposts over the past seven or so years.

  At 25, I tried to ‘rescue’ Cathy from a bad relationship with her then boyfriend. At 26 I fell in love with the gal next door, who was in a relationship and who’s boyfriend was in jail at the time. I wanted to ‘rescue’ her from her situation, but she got back together with her boyfriend after he was released. At 40, I fell in love with Pat, who worked at the same place I did. She was always broke and lived in a bad part of Long Beach. I got together with her, and ‘rescued’ her from her situation, moving her and her two kids into a really nice house in Bellflower. She thanked me by cheating on me, and we eventually broke up.

  When I was 46, after resting a long time after my breakup with Pat, I got on the internet and conducted my “lovesearch”. The first gal with whom I connected lived 3000 miles away, and we had a cyber relationship while she was supposedly separated from her husband. I flew the 3000 miles to meet her in person, but found out she was in fact still living with her husband. My attempts to ‘rescue’ her from her situation proved futile. The next year, also using the internet to meet women, I fell madly for Regina, who lived in a travel trailer in New Mexico. After a six month courtship, mostly cyber, but with a few visits (charging plane fare to credit cards) we got together in ‘real life’ when I moved her out here to SoCal. She still lived in her travel trailer, but I paid the rent space for her in a mobile home park. I made an attempt to ‘rescue’ her from what I perceived as a lonely existence, and she actually was better off in New Mexico. She didn’t like living in the city at all, and after I’d already loaned her over five grand, I found out she had received an inheritance a few years earlier on which she never paid taxes, and she owed the government over 10 grand in back taxes. We broke up soon after I found out about this and she moved back to New Mexico, but not before I loaned her money to pay for new tires on the trailer. (She never paid me back, but I told her then she didn’t have to think she needed to either.)

  Do you see a pattern here? I didn’t mention Liz, with whom I had a really wonderful relationship from 2005-2007 and who is still one of, if not, my best friend. I never felt like I had to ‘rescue’ her from anything, although our early relationship was spent with me showing her around SoCal, since she had lived a sort of insular life in East L.A. and didn’t get around much.

  I met Susie (not her real name) last month when a recent friend of mine dropped  by my house one evening to party accompanied by her. My friend is a bit of a lothario, and has lots of gals with whom he is friends (with benefits). I was immediately attracted to Susie, who is 13 years my junior. That she was with my friend didn’t faze me. We talked, as much as I could being the third wheel, and we even exchanged phone numbers, as I do with most everyone I meet these days.

  I didn’t call her, but she was on my mind for most of the last month. Just this past weekend, my friend dropped by again, with Susie by his side, and we did some drinking and socializing before he took her over to his place. I don’t consider Susie my friend’s “girlfriend” and I told him I really like her. I have her phone number, as I said, and I would really like to give her a call, and perhaps date her, but in light of my previous history with women whom I felt I needed to ‘rescue’ from some bad or sad situation, I’m feeling a bit conflicted. I’m jealous of my friend too!

  I have only heard a part of Susie’s story, but it involves living with a male ex gang member who is somewhat of a bad roommate. She’s been in the situation for a couple of years, and she and her roommate co-own a mobile home in another park. It’s smaller than mine, and she talks about how her roommate likes to party with lots of people at all times of the day and night.

  Frankly, a part of me wants to ‘rescue’ her from this existence.

  Now, I hardly know her. I haven’t even talked to her about attractions, or whether she could be attracted to me. I do know that I probably don’t want to know her roommate or some of her friends. I feel weird that I’m attracted to someone who is obviously a longtime friend of the guy who brought her over to my place to visit a couple of times.

  I’ve asked for advice at work, and most everyone knows personally about my relationship with Pat, who worked there. They advised me to forget about any possibility of getting involved with Susie. One part of me knows this is good advice. But another part of me wants to at least get together with her for a one on one, perhaps take her to dinner, and maybe look deep into her eyes. I think she’s cute, and I told my friend I’m a bit “smitten” with her.

  What do you think? I think I’d be getting set for some kind of fall, but maybe not. Life is weird sometimes.

  Health:

  
  Good, except my loose tooth is bothering me even more, and I know I’m going to have to go to the dentist soon. I’m hoping to delay this till January or February. Even with all this rain (six days straight, I’m ready to build an ark!) my hip replacement doesn’t hurt. I’m not exercising by taking my walks much. I did go out on Sunday, with a slicker when the rain slowed for a bit in the afternoon.

  Transportation:

  
  The car’s falling apart. The left door latch broke (2nd time in three years.) I havent’ fixed it, I unlatch the door from the inside after opening the passenger door. The top leaks like a sieve. I park in my carport at home and in the dockwell at work, and since it’s not stationary on the drive home, it doesn’t leak much even in a downpour while I’m actually driving. I need new brakes, and I haven’t had an oil change in over 5000 miles, but I’m going to get the lube job and brake job done by my mechanic after Christmas. The car is 11 years old and has over 117,000 miles on the odometer.

  Internet:

  
  I’m still really not “internetting” much. I’m finding that I absolutely HATE the fact that in “real life” people I know use Facebook all the time now. (And want to check their status when they visit me!) I’m almost ready to shut down the computer altogether. I’m glad I still don’t have a cellphone. It’s quite eerie walking through life seeing everyone glued to the small screens of their smart phones, texting away. I sometimes get the feeling that people aren’t talking with each other anymore, but texting people in the same room!  I’ve actually had social situations recently where three different people will be in my living room, each staring at their cellphone. This sometimes frightens and upsets me.

  Everytime I post something on Xanga, however, or write one of my rare comments on one of my old time friend’s blogs, I get such love and respect in return that I know I’m incredibly missed around here by my readership, and if only for that, I am making the decision to begin blogging again more regularly. Sometimes I think the “real life” socializing I’m doing at the mobile home park is less energizing and enlightening than the socializing I’ve been doing online right here on Xanga for most of the past decade.

  That said, I’m still upset about the subjects I see on a lot of blogs I’ve been visiting. Right now, the top blog on Xanga, written by the most popular Xangan blogger, mentions the names of other bloggers, and makes fun of them. I don’t think this will ever stop. But at least if I return, my readers know I will only offer my universal observations and optimistic view of life. It’s time I began to write again.

  Merry Christmas, and a Most Happy New Year to You all!

  I remain, as always,

  Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool

  EDIT: 12:30p.m. This Just In: Summer was cool instead of hot. Then in late Sept. we had the hottest day on record, so hot the city’s official thermometer broke! Our hot Santa Ana winds didn’t even come this year (which is good, cause we didn’t have October’s Fire Season). We were hit with hotter than usual weather just a few weeks ago and now we’re in the middle of the longest rainstorm on record in December. (Six days straight, and not supposed to end till Christmas!) What little rain we usually get is in Jan. or Feb. The L.A. Times just reported hail and thunderstorms tonight. That happens in Texas. Not here! 2010 is going to go down in California history as the year we finally experienced weather! MFN/ppf

  EDIT: 12/22/10 7:30a.m. I’m in the midst of “returning comments” and wishing everyone the happiest of holidays this season. I’ve been a bit depressed this holiday, and by coming out of hiatus at this time, and reading all the wonderful comments on this post, I feel the spirit of the season once again. Thanks to everyone for welcoming me back with such love. I’ve made the decision not to pursue the young lady I mention at the beginning of this post. I think I knew that already, but I wanted some input. Even though the “go for it” advice was overwhelming at first, the “pass on it” advice is what I’m listening to on my Xanga and in my heart. Thanks to everyone who has dropped by and left comments, and I will truly make my best attempt to leave one of my patented “letter comments” to you all. MFN/ppf

  Posted: December 21, 2010 7:05 AM

  • 10:38 am
  • 32 Comments