March 25, 2010
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Xanga Friends: Who ARE all these people?
Xanga Friends: Who ARE all these people?
Sub Lists and Readership
My first blogs were on blogger.com., like this one from 2003, which shares the same name as my current Xanga. While looking at other blogs, I noticed the "blogs I read" lists in the sidebars of a lot of blogs. I wondered why someone would list other content than that on their own site, and my list was made up of not blogs I read, but sites I had online with my personal website www.allthingsmike.com. What I didn't understand was that "sites I read" list was the "subscription list" of each blogger I encountered. Now blogger has a "follow me" link and list, like on Twitter.
Since I didn't participate in the "social networking" aspect of blogging, gaining "subscriptions", I didn't have a large readership. I kept creating and shutting down blogs anyway, in an attempt to craft the best way to spotlight updates on my increasingly topheavy personal website. Blogger didn't have a comments feature in those days, and when I discovered Xanga, I immediately became hooked on "comments", which afforded instant interaction.
My Xanga experience began in May of 2004. While perusing the blogs of others on the service, I would notice long "subscription lists", similar to the "blogs I read" lists on blogger blogs. Xanga's previous incarnation allowed a list of 100 subscriptions to be displayed on the main page of anyone's blog. I didn't know there was a limit on the display at the time, and just looking at lists of up to 100 blogs made my head spin. Remembering my time with the Site Fights, a website competition with which I was heavily involved back in 1999-2000, I wondered how anyone who read 100 blogs would have the time to create any entries on their own blog. So in the early days I rarely subscribed to anyone.
As I still do today, I visit and comment other bloggers mainly from the comments I recieve on my own blog.
My first regular commenter was a lady poet, who wrote a poem a day and posted it on her blog. She averaged around 30-40 comments each post. Since I'm a poet, this intrigued me greatly. Perhaps I would someday gain 30 comments for one of my own poems. This woman was chronically xangacidal, and over the years I knew her, she created and destroyed at least five Xanga sites, closing one down, then xangarrecting another after a two or three monthlong hiatus. Each time she would get to be known again, usually by the same readership, although she never let others know she was back. They would have to find her.
My goal was to be so popular I would receive 30-40 comments on each of my entries.
If you go back through my archives, you'll find I pretty much have kept the same layout and content as I had in 2004. This is because my Xanga replaced my blogger blogs, on which I experimented with the type of content about which I was going to blog. I pretty much knew when I established my Xanga, that I would highlight sections of my website with various recurring blog entries, like my photoposts, videoblogs, and electricpoetry blogs.
Slowly but surely, I gained a readership. In 2004 and 2005, I averaged about 6-12 comments an entry, and I posted something every other day or so. In order to keep track of my regular commenters, I would subscribe to their sites, and people would subscribe to mine. I liked seeing that I had quite a few subscribers, even though a lot of them never seemed to visit, or if they visited, didn't comment. When I joined the Featured Grownups writing blogring in 2006, I gained even more readers. By now, that subscription list I had sworn wouldn't top 100 blogs did so. Still, I didn't read subs like most bloggers did. But when I visited a site to comment, I would read "back entries" I had missed, so I rarely missed anything.
Would You Be My Friend?I think it was in 2007 when Xanga decided to add "friends". (I was originally going to link to a timeline, but decided against it, and am going by memory alone.) Quite a few of us wondered why, since we already had subscriptions, another "list" was needed. It was around the time that Xanga was introducing so many new features it was difficult to keep up with them all. Instead of being a blogging service, Xanga at different times seems to have wanted to be YouTube, MySpace, or Twitter. I think the "friends" feature mimicked MySpace. (which if memory serves does NOT have subscriptions, since it is not really a blogging service like Xanga.)
I gained my first "friends" by sending a "friend request" to all the people on my sub list at once. I was running the Internet Island blogring out of my blog then, and I asked my blogring membership to sub to my site for updates. (I will admit it. This was a sneaky ploy to get more people to read my blog.) I had about 200 subscribers, and gained about 100 or so "friends" overnight.
Then I sort of forgot about them. I never went out of my way to 'ask' for friendship. When someone would ask for my friendship, I'd grant it without a thought. Anyway, it was neat being able to send mass messages to my "friends and subscribers" all at once without having to send individual copy/pasted messages if I was announcing a new video on my blog!
When Xanga introduced "themes" I didn't get one. When they introduced the "Universal Inbox" I didn't use it. I kept getting new friendships, and after a while, I had 300 friends. (I had 400 or so subscribers too.) Still I didn't understand why I didn't seem to have more comments, since all these people had asked me to be their friend, not the other way around.
So Many Friends With Whom I never seem to InteractFriendship requests seemed to balloon when I had a "featured" entry or when one of my entries was recommended heavily. Since I'm definitely "old school" when it comes to gauging Xangalebrity status, I kept wanting comments. Xangalebrities who read my blog would tell me not to wish for this kind of status, cause most of the comments were negative, rather than the positive outpourings of real friendship which I found daily in the comment sections of my blogposts.
After an entry of mine, like the Xangapedia would make featured, I'd seem to get dozens of new "friends", but within a couple of entires, most of them seemed to disappear from my blog.
I say I'm a "fifteen comment man". Although sometimes I can get up to 50 or 60 comments on a non blogring entry if it strikes a chord, and a lot of Xangans come by on my birthday and Xangaversary, my AVERAGE is still around 15-20 comments an entry. Some posts, like the photoposts, seem to get more comments. I'm always hoping the videoblogs and MikeVideo entries will get more comments and exposure, but I do admit that since my videos are almost always 10 minutes long or MORE, that puts off a lot of casual bloggers, who don't want to commit that much time.
In time I began to accept the fact that I would never reguarly get 30 comments an entry like my lady poet friend back in the early days. But in time I also began to get irked by "friends" who showed up, asked me for friendship, and then never seemed to visit (or comment).
Why Do Want My Friendship?One day I decided to take one of them to task. Longtime readers know I'm not usually confrontational in my dealings with other Xangans. In fact, I spend most of my time on other blogs writing long novel sized letter comments, sometimes relating to more than one entry. I enjoy the similarities in humankind, as I'm constantly writing. We wear our differences on our sleeves, so I don't feel a need to quarrel about them.
I had received too many friend requests from people to whom I would in turn visit and try to get to know them, write a long letter comment, introduce myself, and then wait for them to visit my own blog, which they never did. When MsSippycup (not her real username) asked for my friendship, I granted it, and then visited her blog. I wondered why she wanted my friendship when I arrived. She was pretty popular, it seemed, and got far more comments than I. I read her current entry and left a letter/comment. After a couple of weeks, I visited again, and left another long comment. And I waited. She didn't return the visit. Finally, I wrote her a "message" and asked "Why do you want my friendship?" To me this was a valid question. She answered somewhat generically as I recall. (It's been so long I probably would have to take a long time to actually find the response email.)
I think I visited her a third time (strike three) and then deleted her friendship. It was the first friendship I'd ever deleted on Xanga. It certainly would prove not to be the last.
The Universal Inbox
There were two things I didn't understand about Xanga Friends at that time. And I like to consider myself on top of things usually. What I didn't understand, since I didn't use it at the time was the importance of friendships when you use the Universal Inbox. I also didn't know that Xanga had just introduced the (rather lame) feature which continually asks a blogger to subscribe or befriend any new blogger they visit. That little popup has become the bane of my existence on this service. Obviously, in retrospect, a popular blogger like MsSippycup would befriend ANY blogger she visited. That way the little popup wouldn't appear again, and also her blog entries and recommends would appear on the Universal inbox of her many friends!
Now I understand. I also have over 400 friends. Let me reiterate that I rarely befriend anyone. I won't say I never do, because there are some bloggers with whom I have initiated the friendship, if I already subscribe to them usually. I feel, like I did when I first sent friend requests to my sub list, that if I sub to someone, I'm usually "friendly" with them. As I've pointed out, my comments are not one liners. I spend time with those who take the time to spend with me on my blog.
Deleting Friends and Influencing People
I not only have learned to delete friends, but sometimes I dont' grant their requests. I just "got back" from a two month hiatus, and I had about a dozen friend requests. (Which came in while I wasn't visiting, blogging, or commenting on Xanga.) Some of these were from spammers and bloggers who don't seem to blog. They have blank profile pages. If I know they're selling something. (One blogsite was shamelessly called Goldsales) I block them as well. Sometimes I'll "report" them. Others have 100s of friends but no blogposts. Some seem to be legitimate bloggers but they haven't visited. I'll grant their friendship and give them a chance.
One blogger, MrRichard (not his real username) has attempted to befriend me four times. The first time, I accepted his friend request, and I visited the requisite three times and left long letter/comments. After he never viisted, and I got real tired about seeing his constant recommends and entry posts on those rare occasions I used the "universal inbox" I deleted him.
A few weeks later, he's befriending me again.
I've deleted some "active" friendships. I've deleted friendships of bloggers who seem to want to confront me about something, or in turn think that something in one of my comments to them is confrontational. (I never thought this could happen, but I'm beginning to realize that some bloggers specialize in confrontation, and welcome it. I believe in tolerance an understanding, and if you think I'm being confrontational with you, then you're wrong, and I don't need your friendship.
I've seriously pondered going over my friends list and deleting those friendships with bloggers I still don't seem to know, or connect with, or to just delete everybody at once and then start from scratch. But then I'll admit I'm a bit conceited, and I LIKE the idea of having over 400 friends!
Real Xanga Friendship
During the past month when I didn't blog actively I still visited quite a few blogs. I only "lurked" however, and didn't leave comments. I kept up with a lot of my subs and regular commenters without their knowing (unless they religiously check their footprints.) I must say that I was quite overwhelmed by the quantity and quality of the comments I received both on my "farewell" post and my "comeback" post.So my conclusion is the amount of Xanga Friends in the module really doesn't matter. And it never has. What really matters are the "real" Xanga friends we collect, whether or not their usernames appear in the "friends module." At least one "real" Xanga friend doesn't believe in the concept of Xanga friends, and refused my friend request to her when I realized we weren't "Xanga friends". This doesn't stop our "real" friendship however.
The subject of the poem In my previous post was the loss of "real life" friendships, and in the poem I questioned whether Xanga friendships were all that were left. Let me tell you, after I began to read the comments I received welcoming me back and telling me how much I've been missed over the past month, I've realized that "real" friendship can occur in the Xangasphere, and those friendships, even though we don't meet face to face but through our shared words and exchanges, are just as important. Without "real" Xanga friendships, I wouldn't be able to share experiences with people in South Africa, or Pakistan, or Australia, or England.
Who are all these Xanga Friends in my Friends Module? For the life of me, I don't know. But I do know that if that module disappeared tomorrow, it wouldn't matter, because the "real" Xanga friends have never left!
I've been
threateningpromising to write this entry at least since I published Xangablogging: How and Why I Blog in November of last year. It has always been meant to be the bookend to that entry. Since I was on hiatus, I figured I'd just get some of these older planned blogs online, and this morning I just began writing. As usual, the entry became pretty long pretty quick. Thank you again to those who have dropped by recently, and I'll be getting around to visit you, even though it might take a while. I really appreciate my "real" Xanga friends. MFN/ppf
Comments (79)
Is it bad that I don't even know how to delete a friend on here?
When one introduces an element such as "Friends" to a social networking site, or blogging site, you're bound to find the "number stackers". People like Paul and Antisoccermom were main proponents of this, as is Theologian can be. Then again, unlike the former two, Theologian does get involved in people's lives, just not on a very intimate level as you would think. It's hard to explain.
The biggest pitfall on Xanga is the simple fact that writing a weblog entry can be pretty daunting, especially when you're really damn set on putting something up for people to read. Blogging seems to come so naturally for you, and you have an excellent grasp on your vocabulary, as well as an eye for detail. The flourishes and elabourations in your entries do tend to make me jealous, mostly because I'd've writ your entries in half the time and content.
Another pitfall is that people suffer from the TL;DR Disease (Too Long; Didn't Read), and you do have really long entries and comments. But that's something I've liked about you. You don't waste a single word, and that's a rarity in this day and age. Too many people are hellbent on getting to the point, without giving more about the point.
They, are BORING!
My offer of a friendship to you was definitely a genuine one. I hope things fare better here in the future for you. Count me on as a more dedicated reader from here on out!
I enjoyed reading this. I'm a bit iffy about returning comments here, mostly because I really don't know what to say that hasn't usually been said by the time I visit someone's blog. Nevertheless, I enjoy your posts very much.
You can turn off that little pop-up box.
I plan to go back 40+entries when school ends and respond to any unanswered comments. . . when I search from my phone, the @reply feature doesn't work with the Opera mini browser... so I find myself unable to reply nicely, unless I switch to the -slower- Skyfire browser.
Did you still have an interest in using the audio in future blogs of yours? Again, feel free to, if you find that it suits your purposes.
As for the friend #... heh... i've accumulated a good amount here too, though I don't always have time to drop by all their pages. I do appreciate the nice diversity of posts, though, which that amount provides. If only I had a few hours that I'd be willing to dedicate in the morning before school and etc. to read them all. Mid-day sub-reading just doesn't have the same effect to it.
Best wishes, M.
What an interesting perspective on friends. I went through a cycle of thoughts about it and much like came to the conclusion that the real friendships developed matter more than the little module. It's good to see you back to writing insightful pieces like this. I appreciate the poems and pictures but I have to admit my favorites are the stories and reflections. I feel like I learn something new every time that you write one.
I never really utilized the "Friend" thing, and then I was sorry since I think many people went private and allowed only their friends from the list. It just seemed like another useless thing to me.
Also, I often wouldn't even notice the request until it was too late.
Why DO people do that? Subscribe to you, and then NEVER visit again. Sometimes they don;t even commentw hen they subscribe, and I am suddenly wondering who they are. I try to visit and leave an encouraging note to new subs, too, but I can't think of the last time anyone actually replied.
I honestly think that if it were not for the blogrings like yours (Internet Isaland) and Becca's, I would have few subscribers - maybe none! - at all. As it is, I may only get 6 or 7 regular comments, but I can't complain, since sometimes I get so busy with work that I cannot keep up here, either.
It's sad, but at least I do have a few faithful friends here.
Love and Peace to you my friend!
I've gotten choosy about who I invite to be my friend and whose invites I accept. I generally just subscribe to people for awhile, and if they continue to write things that interest me, I'll toss them an invite. When people try to invite me, I'll go to their site and read their blogs from the last two weeks. If they're infrequent, or just really really boring, I decline them.
I know I don't have the time to read ALL of my friends and subscriptions, but I do make an effort to at least read my favorites before I go to bed.
I think it would be nice to declutter my friends list and limit it to people I actually interact with. The most recent mistake I made was accepting my MOM's xanga friend invite. She created a page just to read my xanga. I figured it out and blocked her.
I very rarely friend request. I don't even know if I EVER have. I just subscribe and figure if they are interested in my posts they will subscribe back. If not, that's okay too.
I understand how you feel. If a "friend" doesn't comment on my site at least once, they're history.
I love reading what you have to say because through your blog, I feel like I get a glimpse into your life, which I find very interesting. I can visit California through your pictures and videos and trade ideas. Isn't that what social network friends are all about?
I like you, tend to leave rather long comments sometimes and it irks me when I take the time to comment and I get no reply back. I have to admit though that sometimes I don't always reply back to the people who leave ME comments so I guess it all evens out in the end. I would like to have more subscribers (who wouldn't?) but I also have more than a few subscribers who rarely if ever leave me a comment, which makes me wonder why they subscribed in the first place.
I think I am guilty of "not visiting" a page once I subscribe - although I do come when I leave a comment. I tend to read all my subscriptions from the Subscriptions page which does mean I'm reading it, it just doesn't leave a footprint for the blogger to KNOW I'm reading.
I'm glad you're back! I too like these kind of posts of reflection and insight. Sometimes I watch your films and read a poem and don't know what to say!
One of the best Xanga posts I have read yet. Honest and true. Some of the most influential people I have met (including you), I have met here. And as far as being part of the elite, I believe you are one. It doesn't matter how many friends you have, but the content that captures your readers intrerests.
I guess just like in life we have alot of friends but which ones are your core friends? the ones who come thru when you're down and needing them. The ones who know that you like Betty Boop or that your roomate died and that you will always miss him. The ones who helped you move into your trailler and saw you through your hip surgery even though you did great!
:wave: I have decided that I need not be obliged to "friend" someone just because I get an invite to connect. This is true for Xanga as well as for Facebook. I have denied or ignored friend requests, and I have felt I needed to pare down my friends list both here and on Facebook. I have sent out only one friend request myself and that was to a real friend who didn't set up her own account. I don't need so many subscriptions/subscribers. There are those in both catagories who are no longer posting on Xanga. I have thought about unsubscribing them, but I haven't in the event that they want to post again, even if not often. There are only a handful of subs that visit my site and comment. That's OK, but I really appreciate those faithful few who always do. These, I believe I can really call "friends" & most of them are on Facebook, too, along with those who no longer post on Xanga.
Thank you for sharing your views on "Friends".
~~Blessings 'n cheers
Hello Mike!
I'm in a similar phase myself, though I don't have nearly as many "friends" as you do, but I do have a lot of people send me friend requests who never visit my site. I have to admit, it is quite annoying and I have deleted a few recently.
I think that in order to find these real friends, you have to go through a ton of "friends" too. You have to go through a lot of dirt before you find the gems, basically.
I've also decided that I personally like keeping my subscriptions, subscribers, and friends small in number. It makes it easier to keep track of everyone and get closer to people. Yeah, I might only get 2 or 3 comments per post, but at least I get something, right?
I've been featured on the ish sites 4 or 5 times, I have 50-some subscribers and 50-some friends. I've only subscribed to about 10. I get 2-3 comments on average, per post, and have about 5 somewhat regular commenters. I'm pretty all-right with that. I don't really need a ton of attention...
So congratulations on gaining as much popularity as you have! And know that I enjoy reading your posts when I do get around to them!
In real life (?), I truly believe in friendship. I think that's why I can count them on my two hands. On Xanga, though, I've only refused to friend one invitation - someone I only heard about recently, but was reported to be exponentially, socially obnoxious. I have another one in my email that I think was sent to me by mistake. My point is that even though this site is a source for meeting people, it's a more subtle approach to friendship, and for some, is somewhat of an anonymous existence. And I don't say that because my profile pic is a caricature....
You know, I've seen your comments on other peoples' blogs before, and they were the only ones I've ever seen written in letter format. I thought that was very genuine and meaningful because you'd always write out your complete thought on the subject matter. Xanga needs more thoughtful bloggers like you instead of those who just like to "friend" people so they could have a higher number of people on their list.
I don't friend-request people until I read their content and are familiar with them on some level, so I often delete many other peoples' requests because their blogs may lack content about themselves or anything I could familiarize myself with. If I like someone's blog, I'd subscribe to it. Afterward, if we connect on some level, then I'd consider accepting or sending friend requests. It's apparent though that not everyone treats this option the same way.
For the longest time I had no idea what the difference was between friends and subscriptions haha. Glad you're still updating. You're a good writer.
In the earlier days of Xanga, there aren't as many good bloggers to choose from and even less Xangans. No one is competing for attention and popularity. There are no contests for certain Favorite categories. People blog simply because they just want to blog. Nowadays, Xangans are more likely to blog because they need the exposure. They want to mix with the popular Xangans because they want to be seen and heard. They don't care if they churn out mediocre blogs and skim on the better bloggers because they want to spend more time socializing than actually blogging. People who add friends here mostly likely do that because they want to expand their own network and not for actual friendship. They want more viewership for their own selfish needs. They don't have the time to follow their friends' blogs or establish deeper relationships with their present friends, because hey, they are too busy adding more new friends!
Great to hear again from you!
Er...read...yeah...
At any rate, a quick note before my attention wanders: Myspace has blogging, friending, subscription, friends categories...and apps [games]-which I've gotten [somehow] sucked into. Fine, meaningless distractions with comic-book sensibilities, it's all good.
In my accounts on MySpace and facebook, due to those apps, I've collected better than 600 bodies, each - high numbers are good for games.
In the middle of the mix there are perhaps a couple hundred or so whom I maintain regular contact with in the fashion of traditional friendships. The rest are "just gamers". Separate category.
Before getting sucked into the game vortex, however, I used to post on my various social networking accounts, "I am not a body collector. If you do not state why you wish to befriend me, I will delete you."
People don't read. I used to go through mass deletions on a constant, consistent basis.
Now, in the online world, I have made close friendships with people that I've managed to meet offline, in the walking world. From the top of my head, I can list six people whom I met online, went to coffee with offline, and have been tight friends with for better than ten years. Friendships are gold, indeed.
Even among "internet-only" friendships, there have been people there for me through several of life's mis/adventures - and I've been glad to have their company, as it were.
Goodness knows, as much as I ramble online, it would certainly be difficult for the average person to listen to one of my writings in a string, wouldn't it?
I try to catch up - it's not always easy. Most times, I write for an entire evening, then "hiatus" for between a week to a month. Sad, but true.
Still - I feel honored to be included amongst your friends. Yours is not a body count - you look for the soul within the 'I's ^_^
Again: great to see you again ! Take care of you - you're the only you we've got!
Xanga is, after all, a social network. People come here to socialize other than just blogging. But most of them are not here to establish long term friendships with anybody, unless that's the reason why they come to Xanga in the first place. We can't simply hang on to somebody for viewership here just because they are in our friends list. They probably are in there because they want you to stay inside their network. More 'friends' means bigger network. Your friends are now linked to theirs by 6 degrees of separation. When you recommend them, they will immediately gain new friends and viewership through your very own friends.
Hi Mike, it's good to see you back. Ohh yes we do meet all sorts of people in Xanga over the years. Some are quite genuine people and others, far from it. I've experienced my fair share of both sorts of people.
@Schristian - I think i do have the TL;DR Disease you mention... I'm not particularly sure though is it because i'm simply lazy to read or that i don't allocate that much time to read (outside the mandatory reading i need to do for my research work)... either way, i think it does cause me to read less from good people like baldmike and others, and kinda miss out on them... i can only wish it were different...
@Wild_and_Wicked - i'm guilt of some of the things you mentioned too... sigh
anyway mike, I always can tell that you are as genuine as you can be and a good friend to have... and i do hope my lack of comment on your blog in a negative light... it is due to the reason mentioned above (reply to scrhistian)...
as for me, i do accumulate a large number of Xanga friends, just for the sake of it, perhaps... it's kind of opening the opportunity for me to be aware of what is being posted out there, and also kind of opening the opportunity for them to read whatever i post, if they want... but i do have a certain of xanga friends that i interact more than the rest... and i am aware that different people see it differently, so i didn't feel bad if anyone rejected my friend request, or even delete me from their friend list...
oh well... nice to see you :wave:
i've made some great friendships here on xanga. i have many people that i never hear from though too.
i hope you have a wonderful day today! :sunny:
It's ironic that I just wrote a blog called Choosing Potential Friends And Traits, and not surprisingly, it didn't get much views. People choose what they want to read from their 'friends' blogs. They don't care much for our happiness and opinions, all they care about is their own blogs. I add friends because I need a network for my blogs. I didn't come here to seek a relationship and go for Xanga meet ups. When people add me, I make sure that they are active Xangans. If they haven't update for months, I will delete them from my list. I don't need dead weeds in my friends list.
I've always been impressed that you write such long and insightful comments on so many blogs. I'm a little jealous that you have the time for it, but mostly I just appreciate your friendship in spite of the way I come and go from xanga. I hope life is treating you ok these days.
I am so glad you consider me a friend!! Mike, "knightingale" answered my comment on her site about Terry and his drain cover photos. Becca preserved Terry's sites and she sent the link. I don't know how to send it to you, but she might. Like you, Terry was prolific and the smartest person I have ever encountered. I will be forever grateful that I was able to help him and be with him in his final days!
I've read comments by you on other blogs, and I always did love them. Personal, nonconfrontational comments are hard to find.
I've always enjoyed reading your comments - as they are a complete thought, and not just a 'hey, great post'....
I have no problem obtaining a large number of friends on Xanga. I find networking with people something I enjoy.
Thank you for writing this! It was interesting to read about your perspectives on Xanga friends, and this will probably cause me to reexamine my own Xanga friends as well.
Internet friending obviously does allow us to interact with people we would otherwise never meet and see the world through very different lenses.
I find your site(s) very interesting and am glad you still have some onlne presence.
interesting. i once thought about deleting some friends who never commented, after i commented on their blogs a few time. i never did. and those same ones have come by lately and gave some of the warmest, coolest comments. so you never know. i learned people come ang go. many stay. i have been herre since 2003, same username, same blog, and i've amassed, like 75 % of my friends now since last October. I don't know what happened but i must have friended someone who had a lot of friends who visited my site and friended me. a domino effect many of them are lovely people, as far as i can tell. some, well, not so lovely. but that's how it is. i will only delete and block someone if theyve been particularly nasty. i don't have to take that shit. and i have refused friend requests if they have requested before and i accepted and then i learned what tools they are. ugh
@onlyjustbegun - ohhh that would be a bummer.
Funny thing happened on my way through Xangaland. I came here to write and found a few freinds along the way. I do accept some friend requests although not as many as when I first started here. I like to check in on those who read more then write yet have asked for me to be their friend. With my life very full offline, I return all comments on my site and visit a handful of people who have continuing conversations with me. I know that freindships take time to nurture, so I'm willing. I go through however from time to time and let many loose. They usually aren't around anymore. The ones I find most interesting are the regulars who friend me, then never come by to comment or read. It was just their way of collecting more readers of their own. I watch their activity for a while then let them loose when I get tired of the non interest in my work. The are the ones who subbed and friended me in the first place. Oh well. Such is life. Have a good one Mike. Like Jess, I come by and read more than comment as my children call or homework does and I have to move on quickly. Glad to see you back. Are we still friends? (pats heart and points to you)
Well, you're one of the few people I would like to "hang out" with because you have so much to talk about and from what I can tell from your videos, you like to rip it up and go on an adventure here and there. I think I've told you this before, I'm terrible at commenting "well" on posts. Sure, it's easy to say "good job" or some jive, but a lot of times I don't know how to express myself "well". Anyway.
Keep well, young Skywalker.
Well, anytime I do a friend request it is because I want to see more of the person's writing, for whatever reason. I look at it like an acquaitance thing, and it is more of an equal situation, rather than a subscription. If they decide to unfriend me, then it is a hiccough in my day, not a tragedy of Hellenistic proportions.
:sunny: HI MIKE...I LOVE READING YOUR BLOG...ESPECIALLY WHEN IT INCLUDES WICKED PIX U TAKE....AWESOME! KEEP IT UP...I DONT HAVE A HUGE FOLLOWING EITHER...THATS NOT WHY IM HERE
I've been rejecting many friend requests lately.
That was beautiful Mike~
So much for being a "15 comment man", eh Mike?
Upon my arrival to Xanga, I initially resisted the idea of adding friends. To me, a friend is someone who is willing to bail you out of jail. A real good friend won't bail you out of jail because they're in there with you talking about how much fun we were having until we got busted. For some odd reason, you convinced me otherwise and I began to add friends. So far I have only deleted two people, one for the shear stupidity of their remarks and the other for recommending everything they read.
On a different note, I must say how impressive it is for you to be willing to deal with 400 friends. I find it difficult to deal with my inbox load with just over 30 friends.
I'm always frustrated by those people who just add me as a friend because of 1 "rec" to my site, then never come back again to visit. I'm also very timid about accepting friends - I check my footprint to how they came to my site, and if they actually took the time to look around, or if they just immediately hit "add to friends." I'm glad you're back though, Mike. Hopefully you'll get a chance to sort out those friends!
First of all, I would like to apologise for not being around her for quite sometime. Life has been crazy for me and I have been working hard.
Having a lot of online friends doesn't guarantee readership when you have competition from other bloggers. People don't spend much time online and they certainly don't want to spend a large chunk of them on one particular person's blog. I don't like spending time reading blogs that are too text-leaden and visually heavy because I could use the time spend to read 2 or 3 other blogs.
I couldn't care less for online friendships. People are fickle and superficial, they like meeting new people and one can get lost in their network of friends. People come and go in my life, I don't expect them to remember me forever. I don't want to force upon them the story of my life. They have their own life's story to share, and while I listen and learn from them, I know I have my own life to live.
Though this entry is almost a year old, I find it still holds true. With all of the features Xanga has added even since this was written, I find it harder and harder to get and keep readership. My old entries used to get 6-8 comments on average, but after taking a month or so hiatus, I lost almost all those readers. One of my photoblogs was up for almost a month before it got14 comments, but most of those weren't added til the entry had been there at least two weeks. I find that friend requests are used mostly just for show and the only people who actually care about your entries are those that subscribe to you. I have 29 or 30 friends (not really sure right off the top of my head) and I find that most of them never visit or comment on my site. This used to bother me a lot, but now that I've started blogging mostly for myself, it really doesn't make a difference anymore. I'll be sure to stick around your blog and look at some other entries.
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