February 25, 2010

• Old bloggers just fade away

  It’s been two complete weeks since I pretty much stopped blogging. I don’t feel a need to blog right now. I’ve gone on long blogging hiatuses before, but that was when I was on blogger back in 2002 and 2003. My Xanga hiatuses usually at least involve posting once a week.  I’ve dropped by Xanga from time to time and sampled the “front page” and some of the blogs of those whom I have always read. I’ve even dropped a few comments.

  However, for some reason, I’m just not in a “social mood” these days. I’m also not feeling any creative urges, and as I’ve mentioned before, most recently in the post below this, since this blog is an outlet for my creativity, when that disappears, there’s really nothing for me to blog about.

  I usually leave comments and even have prepared posts in the wee hours of the morning while at work before people start coming in the building. Even though it’s not that busy these days, owing to the downturn of the economy, it’s busy for me, and so I can’t schedule the time to blog while at work. When I get home, I don’t want to be in front of a computer, and I’ve got lots of entertainment choices to keep me happy.

  At least one Xangan has sent me a private message telling me they “missed me” which I thought was nice. I actually tried to come up with a “subject” about which to blog today, but can’t really think of anything to say. I don’t write about politics or attempt to stir things up, like a lot of Xangans. I stand for tolerance and communication, like always, and sometimes I feel as if I’ve already ‘said’ all that needs to be said.

  I’ve been an “online” presence for over a decade now. Google Michael F. Nyiri, and 12,000 links come up. I’m almost ashamed that I haven’t updated my main website since last November. Perhaps I’m just tired of online life. Pretty soon the weather will be getting better and I’ll be spending my free time poolside at our mobile home park, as I did last year. It’s been a year now since I’ve lived here at “my little house”.

  I’m not ready to say “Goodbye Xanga” yet. But I never made it to “Xangalebrity status” as I had always wished. I have to work too hard to keep my small readership. Maybe I never really had to “return all comments”. Maybe I didn’t have to leave long letters which some times never got answered. I don’t know. I feel a strange sensation about Xanga right now, as if I expended so much energy, and though I know some of it was returned, perhaps as much as I felt should be returned was not.

  Again, I want to thank those who “followed” my blog. I really want to thank those who visited my vast website and who personally corresponded with me. I may be “back”, but I feel as if I’m slowly fading away.

  I got some bad news yesterday at work. I am employed by a small family owned electrical distributorship, where I design and sell industrial control panels. We’ve seen our workforce shrink from over 40 people back in the mid 90s to just about 17 folks right now. We learned we will be taking two “furlough” days per month, which is like having days off without pay, becuase money is so tight. At least we weren’t told the company is going out of business. (yet) There were tears in the vice president’s eyes when she gave us this news. I’m rarely downbeat, but it’s difficult to stay upbeat when your livelihood is threatened. The “failing economy” is hitting home, I fear. I’d hate to have to start looking for a job. I turn 57 in a few months.

  I sign myself “poet, philosopher, fool”. So I’ll end this entry with a poem I wrote in college, a long time ago. It’s about friendship, and for me, Xanga has always been about friendship first and foremost. Until I “see” you next in the Xangasphere, good bye. It may be a few more weeks, a month or so, or tomorrow. The neat thing about blogs is that they’re here when we “need” them.

  Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool

  “Ode to Friendship”
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  December 18, 1972

  
  Lamplights suffer unreflected pools-
  Remember friends we’ve had
  Counting days on nonexistant calendars
  People made the day so bright

  Someone on the block
  Who walked us to school
  When we were but five

  Childhood memories soon forgotten
  Whispers behind closed doors

  Little girls and boys playing foursquare
  Fighting for a place in the lunchline
  Boys and girls are lifelong friends
  Though they never think so at the time
  And never remember when they’re older

  Highschool cheerleader stunts
  Driving home after The Big Game
  Perfume fragrance in the closed car

  Friends made up for our bad grades
  And insufficient childlives
  Friends came out when all went home
  Out for a carload to the beach
  Or a dance after school

  Now we only remember childhood
  Friends as we hope the bonds we
  Now make never get busted

  And I want to remember little
  Kimberly’s last name
  But I never will
  We were all so young…

  

  • 10:12 am
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