September 19, 2009

• Socrates Cafe: "Living the Good Life"

  

  Recently I was going over some of my past blog entries. As a writer, I often like to read my own stuff, and as a longtime Xanga blogger, it's amazing to realize that I don't even remember writing some of the stuff about which I've blogged over the years until I see it again and have that subtle and sometimes amazing moment of recognition. Last time out, I visited a topic from the first particpatory blogring I joined in 2005: Featured Grownups. Today I visited the second participatory blogring I joined, The Socrates Cafe. (A few commented on the last entry that they'd forgotten all about "blogrings" with the advent of so many other changes on Xanga over the past years. I'm not sure whether the "participatory sites" even need a "blogring" nowadays. I'm sure the moderators of these groups, who have noticed a paucity of participation of late, would love participants, if they belong to the actual blogring or not. I can't speak for them personally of course, but each blogring has it's own Xanga site. The blogsite for Socrates Cafe is HERE.  

  I can still remember being asked by then group leader Simone de Beauvoir (site still online but not active) to join the Socrates Cafe blogring and site.

  Here is the "statement of purpose" from 2005: "Socrates Café® “is meant to be a thoughtful and reflective philosophical sharing. . . Each participant must desire to cultivate the capacity to become a more careful listener. . . It is meant to provide a refreshing and exhilarating alternative to the way many groups engage . . . and to cultivate new habits of discourse in which the primary purpose is to inspire each person to cultivate and discover a unique point of view. . ."

  In Sept. 2006, present moderator Dick ( tychecat) took over running the group and has been active ever since. As with FG, I've seen the activity level of this particpatory group decline, and it's a shame, because esp. now, as I read a lot of blatantly aggressive one sided comments on some of the more "politically themed" blog entries around Xanga, I feel a need for true "Socratic discourse", where by asking questions instead of stating opinions, hopefully, opposing sides will be able to come to a consensus, instead of just blindly keep repeating talking points. (It just occured to me that perhaps the Socrates Cafe SHOULD be utilized now more than ever. Perhaps readers of this blog might "recommend" this post, and maybe we can reignite interest in the Socrates Cafe particpatory blogring.) I admit that I'm a longtime member and I haven't participated in ages. I hope to remedy this beginning with the post you are reading right now!

  
  "Socrates" writes this statement of purpose in the sidebar to the present blogsite:
  "This is an open forum where topics are supposed to be discussed rationally while respecting the opinions of those who might disagree with you. This forum does not allow the deletion of comments to your posts, even though you may be in complete disagreement. The idea is that such comments will either reinforce your opinion, or open you to new ideas about it and perhaps help you to adjust it to one showing more understanding. The exception to this is Flaming or blatant personal attack, which the Cafe will not tolerate. Such remarks should be brought to the attention of a board member so that they can be documented and the flamer banned from the site. Please abide by this simple rule."

  The current "discussion" is of a more "personal" nature, the title of which is "Living the Good Life". I began participating this morning by visiting the sites which have posted, and after reading, supplying a list of "Socratic Questions". Tonight, I am presenting my own entry concerning the topic.

  "How about a discussion of our personal situations: A. What part of your life is the most satisfactory? Why?, B.What aspect of your life do you dislike most? Why?, C. What part of your life needs major improvement? How are you going to improve your life?

  A. What part of your life is the most satisfactory? Why?
  I've written extensively in the past few months about the changes I've undertaken this year. The part of my life which I deem most satisfactory is twofold.

  1. I'm stabilizing myself financially after a four year slide into hell. After 14 years living with a roommate who eventually died of cancer, and finding myself in the strange situation of having to find a new place after so long, I began the year 2009 by purchasing a mobile home for only $39,000.00, so with space rent and mortgage, I'm paying a little more than I was for my half the rent on the previous house. I've complained about my finances on this blog for many years, after having dug myself into my own hole by flying around the country on my "internet lovesearch" in 1999 and 2000, and attending the Consumer Electronics trade show in Las Vegas in 1999-2002 using credit cards, and racking up unbelievable credit card debt. Recently, as I reported in  my August 11th blog entry I was able also to implore the Bank of America, with whom I owe $32,000.00, to recalculate my loan, which had been set at 17.99 percent interest, to a 4.5 percent rate, which means I should be completely debt free by the age of 61, in five years. Interesting that five years ago, I began thinking about moving into a senior mobile home park, and I accompllshed that, so if I'm careful, and stay as frugal as I am now, I shouldn't have any more money problems after this next "five year plan" passes.
  

  2. Also about five years ago I began having more pain than usual in my left hip, and though my own doctor kept telling me it was "normal", in 2008 I asked to see an orthopaedic specialist, who related that my 16 year old hip replacement prosthesis had finally worn out. He showed me my xrays, which I posted on this blog, showing literal "loose screws" in my hip. I had the operation to repair the hip prosthesis this past June, and have been keeping up an exercise regiment, as well as attempting to eat more "healthy", and I feel better than I have in years.

  B.What aspect of your life do you dislike most? Why?
  This is another twofold aspect.
  

  1. I've been single for far too long. Again, on this very blog, I've written extensively about my various girlfriends and relationships throughout my life. My longest running and still unfinished series of essays is "My Sexual History". I'm planning to write another novel sized reminiscence about my high school years, to replace my long dormant "Virtual Pantherama" high school yearbook website on AllThingsMike, my personal website. As memory swirls around me, and I begin to sense the emotional and tactile experiences of having someone special in my life, most recently my ex girlfriend Liz, with whom I connected first on Xanga in 2004, I feel an empty hole where a relationship should be. My lone longterm live in relationship, with Pat (about which I write in the "Dear Misantrhope: My Life With Pat" series of essays) was a hellish experience, and I knew I'd made a mistake with her the minute I moved in. I spent the next three years attempting to forge a life with her, but she afforded me the exit line I was looking for when she began cheating on me. I used to tell people I felt as if being extricated from the relationship was like being freed from prison. In point of fact, looking back with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, it was being freed of my relationship that caused me to start spending all that money I didn't have in the late 90s and early Aughts. Now that I'm finally settled and in relatively good health, I do feel incredibly alone at times. At least when living with a roommate, even during the bad times, I had someone around with which to converse. I sometimes wonder if I'll never fall in love again. Speaking as a poet, who has written many love poems, this is a really sad state of affairs. Especially at my age.
  

  2. My creativity has lapsed to the point that I'm watching entirely too much TV (although I program all my own entertainment, thanks to DVDs, streaming media from Netflix and DirecTV, and my ever present DVR (digital video recorder). There always seems to be so much to see that I'm never bored in life, but I do miss my "photo expeditions" and "trips around town". I can't afford to spend money I don't have anymore, so my frugality is keeping me at home most of the time. Summer has afforded me the opportunity to relax out by the pool, so I do feel as if I'm 'vacationing' during the weekends when I'm off work, but I feel a need to get out and about again, and stave the creative juices. I love photography, and I love making my "MikeVideos". This year has been so full of changes that I stopped doing some of the creative things I've enjoyed doing for years. I posted a new poem the other day, and didn't get too many "comments" on the post, so lack of reciprocal admiration is stifling my creative juices somewhat. (I do recognize that I should be incredibly thankful for the comments I have received, both here and on Facebook.)

  C. What part of your life needs major improvement? How are you going to improve your life?
  See 1 and 2 above. The parts of my life which need improvement are exactly those parts which I dislike. I don't feel as if I'm "failing" in any endeavor in which I find myself participating. I find that I want to participate more. It's so easy to fall into routines, and before one knows it, those routines become the cycle of one's life. I enjoy my little kitchen, and preparing my own meals, but I miss eating out. I enjoy my 60" entertainment behemoth (it's not just a "television") but I wish I had someone with whom to share the experience. I like to come home from work, and to relax and take a nap, but sometimes I think I take too many naps, and I'm wasting my life away.

  How am I going to improve this life of mine? I really don't know right now, and I'm taking it easy coming up with any quick answers. In the past, I would whip out a credit card and do something stupid. I'd go out, have a great time, and not think about the regrets or the future implications. I did that too many times, and then I'd hear that little devil on my shoulder whisper, "Well, you just spent so and so amount, why not just spend a little more? You only live once." I have to pay off my hospital bill now. I just got the formal letter telling me to pay "$2900.00 in full". I will hopefully be able to set up a payment schedule. (Interesting side note. The total amount of the operation is $130,498.91. I haven't received an itemized account. I'm SO thankful to my employer for our health insurance. Even in this shaky economy, we have not had to bear any more burden than our $1000.00 yearly deductable plus the 20 or so percent of the bill each participant has to pay. Three grand seems like a pittance when you look at the total! I couldn't have afforded the operation at all if I didn't have healthcare insurance, so if any of my employers are reading, thanks again and again.)

  Life is tied into finances, health, and welfare. I think the finances are going to even out. My health seems to be getting better. My welfare is solid. I want to reignite my creative urges. I want to socialize more. I'd like to get out and about. Right now, these wishes are just that. I won't force myself to do things that I simply can't afford anymore. All my wishes will soon come true. A great fear is that I'm aging. I really never thought about aging much in the past, except with a wink. I think the recent loss of Joel (Cancerboy) in 2008 and the loss of our CEO Jack at work, who is revovering from a debilitating stroke (at age 85) has awakened my psyche to the perils of mortality. Both universally and personally. Right now, as I sit typing this essay into the word processor before posting to Xanga, I'm realizing that the best answer to the question of how to improve life is to just keep on living it. To keep on facing the daily challenges. To enjoy the good things. To ignore the inconsequential things. And to overcome the negative things. Time will keep on ticking, and life will go on, even after my own mortality ends, so there's nothing much to do otherwise.
  For now, I'll concentrate on the "improvements" which have happened, and ponder the "improvements" which might happen, and keep dreaming, and wondering, as I have since childhood, about what positive things I can experience and perhaps cause, in the course of the life I'm leading.

  Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool

  • 9:12 pm
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