April 14, 2009

• My Girlfriends: a timeline-essay

  

  A "timeline-essay" by Michael F. Nyiri

  
  Written September 23, 2005
  Originally posted on Internet Serendipity
  

  
  Thirteen women.
  Forty Four years.
  One lifelong passion.
  My ex-girlfriends
  Nothing in common
  Except my love for them still

   

  1963: Susan: We never kissed. Because we were just little kids. Our "date" playing tetherball when we were supposed to be watching a movie in the "cafetorium" got me my first and only trip to the Principal's office in elementary school. "I'm disappointed in you," he said, shaking his head. She was a skinny blonde, and lived on the "wrong side of the tracks".
  Duration of Relationship: 3 months, until term ended.

   

   

   

   

   

   

  

  1967: Criss: My first kiss. Part of my "circle of friends" at the time, I proposed we "go steady" at a school dance, awarding her a borrowed St. Christopher medallion. She was pleasingly plump, with a crooked smile, and large fulsom breasts. (Which I never fondled. Ah, memory.) One of her girlfriends, also in our group, was smitten with me, but "I liked Criss". Our "dates" consisted of walking her home from school and the aforementioned school dances.
  Duration of Relationship: 6 months, until term ended.

   

   

   

   

   

  1973: Emma Sue: Passion pit babysitter, my sister's best friend. We would hook up to make out in whatever house on her cul de sac she was babysitting. My sister and her boyfriend sometimes came over too. We exchanged lots of letters, which I still have. Her signature sign off was "bye for now." We double dated with my sister and her boyfriend.
  Duration of Relationship: 8 months, until her graduation from high school.

  1974: Ruth: I would say this was my first real "relationship" and it didn't really include love. I was always falling in love with unattainable girls, and I frequently acted like I didn't get the signals from the girls who were honestly in love with me. I was a bit of an a**hole, when you come to think about it, but I was smitten with both Ruth's utter honesty and exuberant sexual appetite. She first saw a photo of me at a party dancing with another girl, and she read my poetry. We had lots of fun, and I eventually left her for another girl, who turned out to be frigid. This turn of events taught me a great lesson, but didn't get me Ruth back.
  Duration of Relationship:a little over a year.

  1980: Diane: She was my next door neighbor, and came over to my apartment one evening when I was flying higher than the Mad dirigible on acid to tell me she liked the music I was playing on my stereo. (rather loudly) Since I was tripping, I regaled her with all sorts of contemplative philosophy and gobbledygook. At one point in the conversation, she said to me, "Is this the part where we have sex?" (To this day, the best question ever put to me.)  I was glad to oblige her. She was eight years my senior. Over the course of a year, we would get together every weekend after her date would kiss her goodnight at her door. At one point she made a comment that we really never seemed to do anything but have sex.
  Duration of Relationship: a little over a year.

  Also 1980: (Hey, the sexual revolution wasn't over yet.) Karen: I waited till she was 18 years old, about 8 years my junior, when I finally coupled with her. I was in love with Cathy, but I went out with Karen. She was my "Jersey Girl". I think I fell in love with her vocal inflection first. She was going out with three guys at the time (18, and I'm older). She picked another older guy, who was "sober". I was still drinking fairly heavily at the time. And I still had Diane. 
  Duration of Relationship: 8 months.

  1980-81: Melanie: She lived in the same apartment building as did Diane and I. She was down the hall to my left. I met her at a party thown by my friend Kevin. He lived in the corner apartment, and I was scamming for a gal who was at the party, who was staying with Melanie. Melanie waited till the other girl shunned me, and then moved in to snag me for the evening. We spent the night in her apartment. We both loved country bars and she tried to get me to paticipate in an est seminar, a "me decade" self help "training" course of which she was a graduate. 
  Duration of Relationship: 11 months.

  1983: Leslie: We "met cute". She was a hostess at Dinah's, my "breakfast restaurant" where I went every morning after work (on the overnight shift) at the Gemco store in Culver City. She would always seat me with a little more than a smile, and we flirted shamelessly.  She and I spent time with each other about six or eight times at either my apartment or hers. She was knocked up by another guy before I started to see her, and this was simply because she just wanted to have a child. She was pregnant while I was seeing her, but I didn't attempt to have sex with her until after she had the baby. (I was sure tempted though, and we talked about it.) In actuality, we only made love once.
  Duration of Relationship: 11 months.

  1990: Alyssa: I "met" her on the phone, and we had as close to "phone sex" as we could on a company line. She worked for a wire and cable company in Las Vegas, and was my "salesman" at that company. After about 6 months, we arranged to meet, and I would stay with her in Vegas for a weekend. I had a good time, but never saw her again. She took downers. 
  Duration of Relationship: 1 weekend.

  1992-95: Pat: My misfortunate foolish Pat. I will never stop loving her, but I will never let her back in my life either. I think this bothers her now, nearly 15 years after she cheated on me and pulled the plug forever. We had a stormy relationship that lasted almost four years. This was my first "live in lover" and the "love" stopped as soon as I became "live in". I ended up renting three different houses in as many years, as she was always "fleeing the gangs" that she thought her son Charlie would get involved in. We both drank liquor pretty heavily at the time, and this caused many yelling matches between us. I could never understand her, and think that perhaps she is crazy. I'm real glad the relationship ended. 
  Duration of Relationship: Almost 4 years.

  1999: Maria: The recipient of my first "Internet Lovesearch" I visited her for two weeks on the island of Nantucket, where she lived, after corresponding to her and talking on the phone for over six months. She was still living with her husband, who didn't like the idea of her "internet dating" schemes. I was troubled by this, as she told me she was separated. She also didnt tell me she was as big as the whales which used to be the main trade on Nantucket . 
  Duration of Relationship: 8 months

  2000: Regina: Another "internet romance" hot on the heels of Maria. I didnt' move in with Regina, but I "moved her" to California. She lived in a 30 foot travel trailer, and we took it from Albequerque to Long Beach. She couldn't find a job and neglected to tell me she hadn't paid taxes for a few years when she got a windfall and the feds were after her. She got claustrophobic in "the city" and left for home after 3 months after borrowing over 5 grand from me, which she promised to pay back. I told her she needn't worry. She still hasn't paid me back a penny. 
  Duration of Relationship: 10 months.

  2005-2007: Liz. For a short while, I called her the answer to my question. The period to my sentence. The reason for my existence. The receptacle for my passion. We "met" on Xanga, and since we both live in L.A., Liz (The Queen of Swords) suggested we meet "in real life" soon after we found each other. She was over 20 years my junior, but I'm pretty active, so this wasn't a problem for either of us. We were "friends" for a year before we became "lovers" and she shared my "photo expeditions" for almost two years. We broke up amicably and I still see her. In fact, she will be my ride to and from the hospital when I have my hip replacement replacement. 
  Duration of Relationship: A little over two years.

   

  COMING SOON: My Crushes Over the Years

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