October 17, 2008
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ElectricPoetry: The pain of loss
It's been over two months since I've posted an ElectricPoetry post. I don't feel as if I'm spending that little time on Xanga, but that's a long time without a poetry post from me, so I apologize for any readers who have stopped dropping by because you miss the poetry. I really haven't been that inspired this year at all.
Recently, I got a comment from Patty (VaporousVenom), an old Xanga friend who hasn't posted in a long while. When I visited her site, I got the sad news that her daughter Robin had recently passed away. Another Xanga friend, Jane (Peacenow), dedicates her blogsite to her departed daughter, Kendra. As most of my readers know, I recently lost my good friend Joel to cancer. He was a friend, and not related. I wrote quite a few poems for him as he got sicker from the cancer, and I've written testimonial poems and tribute poetry for many who have passed. However, I've not really written about the loss of youth. I got to thinking about the passing of youth, especially young girls who have so much promise in their short lives when God calls them away.
Perhaps they are called for a reason. Maybe their souls are needed back in Heaven. This train of thought produced the following poem, "Interrupted Journey", which I just penned a few moments ago. It is followed by some hopefully uplifting poetry in the face of great loss from my archives. MFN/ppf
"Interrupted Journey"
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
Oct. 17, 2008 6:10 a.m. pdt
She asked more than she answered
She played more than she worked
A world of opportunity awaited her
Responsibility she never shirked
Love, expression, growing up
Making friends to fill her world
The gloss of life was interrupted
Time's beacon snuffed before it shouldHer safe beginnings warm and pure
A life so young, innocently presented
The pages blank with anticipation
Presaging growing possibilites enchanted
Friendship, questions, growing up
Learning much but never satisfied
When God called her back to Heaven
The glorious choir of Angels criedNobody can ever understand the details
Mothers grieve and friends stand shocked
Open doors and windows beckon
But when approached they bear a lock
Gifts, birthday presents, growing up
A lifetime stopped before it really started
God has called her back to Heaven
Glorious banks of clouds have partedShe was a grand symphony unfinished
She wondered more than she realized
A world of opportunity escaped her
That look of wonder remained in her eyes
Love, nurturing presence, growing up
The end came sooner than anyone wanted
Her earthly journey was interrupted
Corporeal growth was obliquely stuntedShe didn't deserve to be called away
Never to see another bright worldly day
We can question the purpose and passion
And always mightily grieve as is our fashion
God simply needed her back
A soul unfinished perhaps to track
We can only pray she will return again
And we will ask her where she's been
She will answer more than she asks
She is God's pilot performing God's tasksHers is an interrupted journey
to her earthbound friends and family
But only a short return trip to Heaven
for her journey has not ended at all"Masque/A Breath of Fresh Insistence"
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
8/14/07 6:10 a.m. pdtI sit motionless in the kingdom of satisfaction with a clown face
belying my present condition
showing a studied falseness to the throngs, laughing in the face of derision
while the tears flow unevenly down the inside of the maskMethods to madness charted with a crooked straightedge
decrying the destinations and foiling all anticipated fulfillment
reaching with outstretched insanity, but never touching
as the mannered convolutions of existence revolve againI move slowly away from painful platitudes,
a singular diaspora disguised as pleasure,
no crowd of followers nor reverent acolytes appear
on the rocky roads of rambling righteousnessI glance heavenwards at the glory of the cosmos
sliding the mask aside, bravely attempting
to curl the sides of my broken mouth into a smile
as the infinite jeremiads reverberate in sorrowCornered in calamitous conundrums
Stifled with sullen sad serenades as always
the smile appears in an instant, and then fades quickly
as if to smirk at the depth of this dancing depressionWhirling like a dervish with a purposeful fancy
asking questions which never breed answers
grasping the crumpled clown mask of delusion
while devils gape in studied starkness on the sidelinesAt last I rest, weary and forlorn
open to immediacy, living in the now
wiping away the tears, and bravely tossing
aside the mask which never fit properly anywayI sit motionless in the kingdom of satisfaction with a clown face
blowing in the wind at my feet,
away from troubling consequence
replacing false hope with a breath of fresh insistence"All Is Lost, Yet All Is Never Lost"
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
February26, 2006 9:28 a.m. pstThe burn eradicates the past in items tangible
The heat deletes the coziness of memory just yesterday
The ashes fall upon the questions and the hurtingBut finally they blow away
Stamina and health overshadow the pain of the loss
Life and true friendship cover misunderstanding and hollowness
The light which burned the past becomes a beacon
for the future
Problems and pathways emerge and enmesh
And the path to your future is unfettered and clearNo one can feel more empty
No one can understand the pain of losing everything
But everyone can send a little love and prayer
And everyone can experience the light of your love
And the expressions of your existenceBurned beyond recognition,
A past life will reside in memory's bower
While the new sprouts of kindness
and serendipity greet the
spectre of hopeThe burn eradicates the past
and it seems as if all is lost
Yet all is never lost
And what you will find in the ashes of
tragedy
will strengthen your resolve to begin
again,
and all will be better this time around"Last Rites"
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
Sunday, April 3, 2005 6:56 a.m. pdt
We breathe, we believe, we bother, and we broker
We experience, with exuberance, we wonder, and we wander
The human life is precious, and we rarely notice this
That God's Great Gift is just a fleeting brushing glancing kissAvowed to gaze into the sky and wonder why
We look to Heaven, ask the questions, eradicate our doubts
But when the reaper visits was there something we forgot
And do we ponder feeling in the ground as bodies rotFor hundreds of years the bodies disappear
Into the ground, with sacrament, adorned by elaborate memorials
Or else a simple cross, or star, or placard made of marble
And the living will visit, gaze at the stones, and marvel.Astounding thoughts and reveries, epiphanies and silence
Mortality comes knocking on the door at night unawares
History calls up through the new cut grass
And as we breathe, we realize that this life too, shall pass
Comments (80)
Thanks for your reflections. More and more I realize our similarities. I once ended a poem, "this, too, shall pass" as well. Stay well, Mike!
I was starting to wonder if you were ever gonna post some electric poetry again... These were wonderful my friend my favorite of these was "All Is Lost, Yet All Is Never Lost" ...
@BoureeMusique - Dear Emily, I'll credit the source to King Solomon, according to Wikipedia anyway. "King Solomon...searched for a cure against depression. He assembled his wise men together...and (they) gave him the following advice: Make yourself a ring and have thereon engraved the words "This too shall pass". The King...had the ring made and wore it constantly. Every time he felt sad and depressed, he looked at the ring, whereon his mood would change and he would feel cheerful."
@Adamission12 - Dear Adam. If you ever need a "fix" of my poetry when I'm not posting on Xanga, check out my ElectricPoetry website.
Hi Mike, just popping in to see how you are doing.
Dear Mike...
I'm on lunch.. Not enough time to process and state my feelings.... The poems are beautiful. The first, of course, striking too many personal notes in me... But too many is a good thing... I appreciate you thinking of Kendra & I... And thinking on this loss.......
Sometimes there really are no words.
peace always,
Jane
i like how you include something hopeful about great losses
Like the elections this too shall pass. However poems are like snapshots of the emotions. More precious to the poem maker......I know the economy has effected you. You get more video equiptment when the economy gets good and complain more when the economy is bad...(Am I speculating too much?)
Thank you so much ... i love these inspirational poems and will be back soon.. i had to thank you tho.. i am overwhelmed for now .. i will have to work through this ,,it is hard...but you people on Xanga help so much .. thank you!
VV
To Niti
I pick you up and you are so frail
you shatter like crystal, my tears
it once had mingling with the blood,
still in my hands.
Oh dear friend, I am as frail
as that glass. I wish you
were still strong.
Now that you are frail, how
I long to carry you in my arms.
I would come to you, and joy
to care for you as so many
have cared for me.
Such joy is not possible
without love. I love you
but even more, I perceive
the love that streams down
on us from the Beloved.
Kathleen Matheson Weber
Thank you for dedicating my girl, Jessie along with Kendra and Robin to this bittersweet poem, Mike.
I am very grateful
☮ & ♥
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