August 23, 2007
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Customer Service 101
InDirecTV: Two weeks in Digital Television Hell
Saturday the 11th
"Joel, what's that banging sound?"
He grunts, "I think the owner's back."
I look outside the front door. The owner's handyman and four hired hands are taking shingles off our roof and pitching them to the ground alongside the house.
I turn to face Joel. "It's Frank and the Mexican mafia on the roof. This racket is going to be going on all day! I gotta get outta here!"
I get dressed in street clothes, pack up my beach chair and my paperback in the car, and go to the movies, then lunch, and spend a couple of hours in the nearest park with my book. When I return, piles of shingles and black tar paper litter the perimeter of our duplex, and the banging is continuing louder than before.Sunday the 12th
The day dawns hot and oppressive. The unfinished business from the day before looms like a disaster waiting to happen.
The day is somewhat quiet, until around 3pm, when Frank returns, climbs up on the roof, and begins tearing things apart again. I thought these guys were "finished" when the new bathrooms were installed on the premises last winter. We had a couple of months respite, and now the entire roof is to be replaced.
"I hope these guys don't knock the satellite dishes out of whack", I offhandedly remark to Joel, as I get ready to retire in the evening.
"Don't push your luck" he replies. "You won't get a signal tomorrow, just you wait."Monday the 13th
I leave for work at the usual time, 5:30 in the morning, before the day's disaster can begin. When I return home at 3pm, there is a lowboy trash container in my parking place, and the Mexican mafia seems to have doubled their numbers. I see the old neighbor's satellite dish unattached and tossed willy nilly on the now bare wood roof of the garage, and I cringe internally.
After I change my clothes, and retire to my media room, I turn off the light, and check the Now Playing screen on my Tivo. The latest recording of Reel Channel's "The Directors" is a blank screen. I nervously switch to "live TV."
Nothing.
Black screen.
Almost laughing at me.
I begin to fume a little, and I go outside to confront Frank. "Hey Frank, have you or any of these guys bumped my satellite dish?"
Frank exchanges some pleasantries with the Mexican mafia in Spanish. I hear one of them say "No toque cualquier cosa, pero hay 'loose wires'" as he points in the direction of my dish. There were no "loose wires" until the roofers arrived.
"No, nobody touched anything" Frank reassures me.
"Well, I don't have a signal from my dish" I immediately respond.
Frank offers to help me attempt to position the dish, but it has been thrown so out of alignment that after two hours of testing the signal, I still don't have one. Joel was right. He knew the dish would get moved. Nothing our latest owner has attempted has ever gone without incident. I try to think better of any situation, but this one was becoming worse as the minutes tick.
"Could you leave the ladder here after you leave?" I ask.
"Sure."
I go back inside the house and call 1-800-DirecTV. An automated female voice, who seems to be snickering at my problems, although this is only my perception, guides me through a series of checks and balances. "Did that help? Press 1 for yes and 2 for no". I keep pressing 2. A good twenty minutes after pushing buttons on my phone's keypad and even sometimes "voicing" commands to the automated information system, with my voice getting tighter and more sinsiter sounding, I finally receive a connection with a real person.
"DirecTV service. This is Gene. What's the phone number for your account?"
I give him the phone number.
"What is the name listed on the account?"
I give him my name.
"How can I help you?"
The floodgates open. It is now almost three hours after I returned from work to find no satellite signal on my DirecTV.
I recount, in stunning detail, the events leading to my call. "I'm stuck in the satellite testing screen right now" I tell him, "I can't even get back to the Now Playing screen so I can at least watch some of my recorded programs. It keeps reverting to the "testing signal strength", and since I don't have a signal, it stays on that screen forever."
Gene attempted to guide me through some of the "tests" I'd already performed on the automated system earlier.
"I already did this," I sneer. "I don't have a satellite signal. I'm pretty sure the roofers knocked the dish out of alignment. I tried to get up on a ladder and position it myself, but it tells me I need a compass, which I don't have. I'm tired, I have a hip replacement which is hurting me, I'm really sort of afraid of climing up and down ladders, and I don't think I can do this myself. Can you contact a service truck and send somebody over to align my dish so I don't miss recording "Big Love" on HBO tonight?"
Gene sounds as if he finished the customer service program at DirecTV with honors. "I don't have the provision to send someone out, but we can schedule a service call" As if this will fix all the problems in the world.
"Can't you just dispatch a truck to my house right now? Can you at least tell me how to reset the system so it gets out of the "searching for nonexistent satellite" screen so I can watch my recorded programs? I need help here."
"I'm in customer service, not dispatch. We can have a truck sent out within a couple of days. It's really busy right now. Would you like to schedule a service call?"
"By all means. The sooner the better."
"Okay, just a minute while I access the scheduling program."
More waiting.
"By the way," I remark, in an attempt to gain some knowledge about DirecTV's high definition service, while I've got this guy on the line. "I've been thinking of getting one of those High Def receivers from you guys if the price is down from $1500.00 like it was a couple of years ago."
"The HD receivers can be leased for $349.00 including set up and handling."
"How many channels are in HD, and how much more would this impact my subscription?"
Gene is still attempting to schedule a service call, but now sees an opportunity to be a salesman. "We're adding another 200 channels in HD this next month. The cost is only $9.99 a month."
"In addition to the $89.00 a month I already pay?"
"Added to your current subscription, yes."
"Could I spread the cost of the receiver over four months like I did the last time I upgraded?"
"It's three months."
"Okay, that sounds good. Since I need a technician to come over anyway to align the dish, would it be possible to have him install a new receiver for me? Does the new dish cost any more money?"
"Mr, Nyiri, the dish and installation are free. We can have a service call scheduled this week, but installation of a new dish couldn't be scheduled till next week."
"I'd kinda like to get the Hi Def upgrade. That means I'd get my HBO movies in widescreen, and my local channels in Hi Def, right?"
"There are many Hi Def channels available right now, and we're adding over 200 channels on another satellite next month."
"This sounds good to me. Let's do it. I'd like to get the upgrade." I know I really can't afford it right now, but by 2009, everyone in the country will need to have digital TV when the analog signals are turned off. I already have the wide screen TV and have been watching "square" channels on it for three years. I tell Gene all about my system, as he schedules the upgrade for Thursday the 23rd.
"What time is best for you. Between 8am and noon, or between noon and 4pm."
"Morning. That way I can take the day off work and have all day to enjoy my new digital channels."
"All right, Mr, Nyiri, your upgrade is scheduled for Thursday, August 23rd, between 8am and noon."
"Okay, I still need someone to come out soon then and straighten my current dish, and is there any way you can guide me back to the Now Playing screen on my receiver right now so I can at least relax and watch a movie without having to go rent DVDs tonight. I am paying for this after all"
More waiting.
"We can have a technician out on Wednesday the 16th. What time is best for you"
"Wednesday is the 15th. Would somebody be coming out on Wednesday or Thursday?"
"Wednesday the 16th" he repeats knowingly.
"I have to schedule a day off work for this, Gene. It's August. The 16th falls on a Thursday this week."
"I'll schedule you for the 16th."
"Wednesday or Thursday?"
"Wednesday"
"No" I'm begining to get more nervous. I'm not at my best after a difficult day at work, and then a couple of hours on the phone with automated systems and helpful but clueless customer service reps. "Gene, let's get this straight. You keep saying Wednesday, but you keep giving me Thursday's date!"
"Oh, sorry. The service call is for Wednesday."
I sigh. "The 15th?"
"Wednesday, the 15th." he finally gets it right. Now I can schedule a day off two days from now. "What about getting my system back to "Now Playing"?"
For some reason, Gene is not able to exit me from my dilemma. I ineffectively "reboot" the receiver half a dozen times. "Click the "cancel" button on the remote."
"Nothing"
"Click the "clear" button and the the "enter" button."
"Still nothing."
This goes on for a ridiculously long time.
"Well, buddy, it doesn't seem as if you're able to get me out of this screen. I think it's a DVD night after all" Joel comes home from work. I encourage Gene to repeat the two scheduled service and upgrade dates and times for me. I copy down confirmaiton numbers. I finally hang up. I don't like talking on the telephone anyway, since I do a lot of it at work. I'm very tired. I pass Joel on my way back to my bedroom to get dressed to go out an rent some DVDs for my truncated evening's viewing.
"Well, Joel, you were right. The roofers knocked my dish out of whack. I checked yours. It seems to be all right. I need a favor. You'll be in bed by 11. Could you record "Big Love" on HBO for me and I'll watch it tomorrow on your TV before you come home from work."
Joel programs the DirecTV in the living room to record the program. I go out and rent "The 300" which turns out to be quite good. I'm so upset and cranky though, that I'm still awake way past 10pm, and I still need to get up tomorrow to go to work.Tuesday the 14th
I regale the guys and gals at work with my latest sob story and schedule a day off Wednesday. I come home from work and watch the latest episode of "Big Love" on my old bigscreen in the living room. I check on my receiver in the media room, which has been searching for a satellite signal for the past couple of days.
Still no signal.Wednesday the 15th
At roughly 9am, I get a call from the local DirecTV technician. "Where excactly do you live. I have the address but I can't find the house."
"I'm in the back, on the right. There are two duplexes sitting on the lot, but there is a vacant lot fronting the street." I walk into the living room from the phone stand in the dining area.
"There's a big trash container in the driveway", I tell him.
"It's a lowboy" he remarks, "Who owns the green convertible?"
"You must be in the driveway" I conclude. "Keep coming back. Do you need me to move my car. The convertible is mine."
We meet each other, me holding my handset, the technician with his cellphone, in back of my car, which I move out of the way.
Only a half hour later, the work is done, quite professionally, and I have access to my DirecTV. Now of course since I have the service back, I check it to make sure that the signal is strong, and then I prepare to leave the house with my paperback and go to the park to read. "Don't touch that dish" I warn Frank when I see him backing into the driveway on my way out.
"I won't even look at it" he chides. Evening settles in warmly. When I get back from the park and in the house, I check my DirecTV signal again. Everything is okay. No problems. In the old days, a television signal could be strong or weak. Nowadays, in the digital age, it's either "on" or "off".
Joel comes home, changes, and settles in to watch some TV on the set in the living room. I greet him when he's settled, and give him the good news.
"I'm having problems with the signal on this TV" he complains.
"Oh, no. Don't tell me the roofers have knocked YOUR dish out of whack? Turn it to that Ovation channel you've been watching. Do you have a signal?"
Joel clicks the remote to Ovation.
No signal.
Blackness and bullshit hover in the air.
I go out to the side of the house armed with a broom and a look of determination on my face. I hit the dish a few times. This one I installed back in the early days of DirecTV when one had to do everything himself, or pay through the nose for installation. A couple of whacks do the trick.
"Can you see anything?"
"Yes, it's coming in."
Thank God I don't need to call DirecTV again tonight.
Now all I have to do is wait for the 23rd to roll around and then I'll have my complete digital upgrade.Wednesday the 22nd
A week has passed with no further incident. The roofers complete their job. Well, that's not entirely true. They go away after a few days. The "lowboy" trash container is picked up. There are still some errant shingles lying around the perimiter of the house. I clean some of these up myself. Frank stops by to tell me he will have his Mexican mafia finish the job in a couple more days. My upgrade is scheduled for tomorrow. I always attempt to be prepared, so I call the service number Gene gave me when I scheduled the upgrade.
I wait for a half hour while uninteresting jazz music and ads for DirecTV services play in my ear. Finally someone answers.
"DirecTV Service. This is Denise. What is the phone number on your account?"
I give her my telephone number.
"What is the name on the account?"
I give her my name.
"How can I help you today, Mr. Nyiri", she beams.
"I'm scheduled for an upgrade to a high definition receiver tomorrow and I just wanted to make sure before someone comes out here that I'm getting the receiver with Tivo."
"Just a second, I'll check that out for you."
She disappears for about five minutes.
"We don't have an upgrade scheduled for your account tomorrow."
"What?" I'm a bit flabbergasted.
To say the least.
"My confirmation number is xxxxxxxx" I dutifully check my notes from my conversation with Gene over a week earlier. The technicians will be here between 8am and noon."
"There is no upgrade scheduled for your account tomorrow." she repeats.
"Excuse me, Denise," I attempt to implore her, wondering how long this phone call is going to last. "The guy who scheduled me is Gene. I didn't get his last name." I repeat my confirmation number, which is meant to confirm that I'm receiving my upgrade.
"We show that you scheduled an upgrade, but no technicians are scheduled to visit you tomorrow. Just a minute while I call the local service provider."
DirecTV is a very large corporation. Customer service can be located anywhere. I might not even be talking to someone in the United States of America, for all I know. The world is connected through a series of computers, and sometimes computers which are supposed to talk to each other speak different languages. Her computer clearly shows my order and my confirmation, and yet the service order on the other end has never been placed.
Every four or five minutes for the next half hour, she comes back on the line. "I'm attepmting to get in touch with the local service provider."
An eternity passes. Somewhere people are being born, and dying. Life goes on. Bad jazz plays in my ear.
"Mr Nyiri", Denise's voice finally comes through the haze. "The service you scheduled can't be performed. The provider is booked solid for tomorrow."
"W-what?" I stammer incredulously.
I'm finding it incredibly difficult to keep my cool. "What are you telling me? I took the day off tomorrow. My shift has already been filled. " This is a little white lie. I'm an executive and can take any day off I want, as long as my slate is clear or covered.
"Nobody can come out tomorrow."
Needlessly, I repeat my unconfirmed confirmation number. Undoubtedly, some wires have been crossed somewhere. After pleading, begging, and cajoling, I reschedule the upgrade to Sunday, which is supposed to be a day of rest.
"What is the best time for you," Denise reads from her prepared script.
"Tomorrow, of course, which I originally scheduled!' My voice is getting appreciably louder. I can almost hear the steam coming from my ears.
I calm down a bit.
"Morning." I defeatedly answer.
"Oh, sorry. They can't come out until the afternoon."
"Then make it the afternoon. How can I be sure that they're coming this time? You guys don't seem to have a great recent track record as far as I'm concerned. What's to stop the system from breaking down again?"
"I've double checked and your upgrade is rescheduled for Sunday the 26th." I look over sheepishly at the calendar on my computer screen to make sure Sunday DOES actually fall on the 26th.
"Somebody will be over on the 26th?"
"Yes."
"I want to be sure of this, Denise. I'm very upset, as you can probably tell. I'm not mad at you personally, but I think you can agree with why I am quite upset right now. What is your full name?"
She replies, and tells me she's in the Florida area, on the other side of the country.
"How can I get in touch with the people who are actually going to do the work?"
She gives me the local number.
"You know, Denise." I say matter of factly. "I'm a longtime DirecTV customer. I've had DirecTV for over a decade, and I've never really had that many problems. How about giving me some consolation by giving me a few months of service for free, eh?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that, Mr. Nyiri."
"Well," the businessman in me goes to work. "I think I'd be a little less upset with some kind of consolation for these troubles. Can you put me in touch with your supervisor or someone who CAN do something for me?"
"Just a minute." She disappears again.
When she gets back on the line, she tells me, "We can't give you any free time with the service, however we can offer you free Showtime for three months, and a $5.00 discount per month for the next year."
"Well, that's VERY nice." I counter, "You're a good businessman, Denise. That takes away some of the sting, let me tell ya."
"Anything else I can do for you today." she reads from her prepared script.
"No, I think I've been on the phone for far too long. It's been nice doing business with you. What time is that upgrade rescheduled for?"
"Sunday the 26th, from noon to 4pm."
"Great, have a nice evening."
I hang up the phone and rub my left ear. I don't even want to think about DirecTV right now so I go outside with my beach chair and paperback, and do some reading. Joel comes home. We exchange pleasantries, and when it starts to get dark, I come back in the house. "Well, Joel ," I begin "I'm still taking Thursday and Friday off, but they can't come out to upgrade my DirecTV until Sunday."
"Sunday?" Joel seems as surprised as I that they work on Sunday.
"Yeah, at least I don't have to schedule anymore days off."
"I don't know if you've noticed," Joel says, "but we have about a half dozen more movie channels!"
"Enjoy them", I say triumphantly.
Comments (92)
Technology will never be any better than the customer service behind it. Never.
Your story I have heard many times over Dear Mike
I actually worked here in TN. for DirecTV call center
I went through the training and I worked for 2 days.
I am a great customer rep. but not a great phone person.
I love face to face when it comes to dealing with people.
I could feel your frustration through your words and it was
well warranted I must say.
i feel your frustration with the roofing people. i had a similar experience, plus the person spilled a bottle of water on the roof and he had to spend an extra week to fix the mistake on top of the roof:wave:
grrrrr.
I was getting fumed right along with you there.... :nono:
You handled the situations very well, and it made it's usual interesting read - we've all been there. Enjoy your deserved bonuses! And your time off.
We had probelms with nails everywhere when we redid our roof several years ago. Our neighbor claimed he got a flat tire from one of them! We did find them all over the yard.
You summed up the frustration of "on hold" hell perfectly - "An eternity passes. Somewhere people are being born, and dying. Life goes on. Bad jazz plays in my ear." Beautiful!
I'm glad you got some compensation, but I'm a little worried for you...good luck on the 26th!
You know Jerry Jimston over in Xangaland. He does not watch TV. Even if you GAVE him a TV and got the mafia to get on his roof and hook it up, he would not watch it. Sounds like a good idea, huh?
wow. that is truly unbelievable!!!!
Now that I have TiVo, I can't imagine living without it anymore! TV spoils us, I think, hehe.
Have you heard that the soap opera Passions is moving to DirecTV in a few weeks? You should record episodes and post them online for all of us poor souls who can't have satellite...
♥
How pissy. I'm a patient person, and I don't think I could have been patient through all of that. I would have had the owner of your place or the "Mexican mafia" take care of any extra cost required to get your new dish (sure, it was free, but they should have paid for the time you had no access). Customer service is important.
I had DirectTV for less than a year and will never want it back. I don't care how many channels I could watch.
From your comments on my blog... the lack of originality in Hollywood was exactly my point. They keep creating all these remakes, and most of them are just not worth the viewers' time. I really don't mind the sequels and prequels, but flat out remakes are mostly a waste. I'll probably see the Invasion, but my favorite version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers has always been the original, followed closely by the 1978 version with Donald Sutherland. The 1978 version reminded me of my high school experiences. o.O
You know, I never did see A Scanner Darkly. I'm just not a fan of Keanu Reeves. I saw Sin City and I liked it okay.... it was very stylized and I though a good reinterpretation of film noire. I actually collect comic books (I call it my retirement fund), so I like to check out any movie that was adapted from comics. I think I'm one of the few people who likes the Hellboy movie enough to own it. I didn't see 300 though... I'm a bit of history buff, and I know the actual story well enough that the movie looked like pure fantasy to me. I watch more fantasy, sci-fi, and horror than any other genre, but if I know something about the subject, inaccuracies ruin the whole thing for me. I know my folklore and mythology too, so it wasn't until the reruns set in that I found I could stomach Xena (I still sneer at Hercules), and it wasn't until nearly the end of Buffy that I began to find the whole series funny instead of insulting to my intelligence. I was completely disgusted with the newest version of War of the Worlds. It had nothing on the original. I thought the remake of the Time Machine and the "reimaging" of the Planet of the Apes were entertaining, but nothing I would watch again. Nor would I purchase them. So far as I'm concerned, they were just an excuse for Hollywood to spend money and muck about with special effects.
When Logan's Run comes out, we'll have to compare notes. I loved the original, but I last saw it when I was a kid. I know that the original was a bit hokey in parts, but it's got nostalgic appeal, darn it. heh For some reason, every time I think of Logan's Run being remade, I think of the remake of Village of the Damned with Christopher Reeves and wince. Not that the two have anything in common, but it was just so hideous. Both were xenophobic, but the remake made the children out to be an alien attempt to replace humanity with its own hybrids, instead of mutations possibly benefiting the human race. It went from showing us to be the monsters we are, to making us heroes for killing a bunch of weird kids. (Yeah... another movie that reminds me of my own childhood.) I would love to get my hands on a copy of the Midwich Cuckoos (the original story), but it's out of print and last I checked, pretty expensive. I worry that Logan's Run is going to be reinterpreted somehow... and next thing you know, they'll be remaking Zardoz or ZPG.
I don't know that I would like to see Childhood's End made into a movie, though I like Clarke's books. Stranger in a Strange Land might be interesting. There's quite a few fantasy and scifi novels I'd like to see made into movies... Zelazny's Amber Chronicles, the Worm Oroboros, Geek Love.... But then I think of some books made into movies, like Starship Trooper or Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, and I stop wishing. It's just too horrible.
BTW, I used to think I was quite the prolific little poster, but now I've met you, I can see I'm a bit of slacker. lol
I normally don't have time to read long entries, but I have to say this one sucked me in.
)
I've been in that spot where you are trying to be calm but you're just OVER IT and ready to take somebody's head off. The way I see it, they should've been willing to give you just about anything to keep your business after all you went through.
Hugs,
Blue
another reason for not getting directv.
I had an encounter like that with Sears lately. I think they outsource to Mexico for customer service. smile, Judi
I think that customer service lines are allied with the phone companies. Over here we have a digital home package company called KPN. It it beyond me how they still stay #1 in the country since they must be paying out more wages to customer care employees than their revenue from customer bills... My father-in-law is still on the phone with them for over a year ever since he made the mistake of having tv/phone/internet orders for 2 different addresses.
Ryc: Yes, Mike, you DID comment on my earliest entries after moving, and I've only been sorry to have been away from xanga for so long. Almost 6 weeks later life is just starting to find a some regular normalcy! I'm so sorry I missed to wish your brother a happy birthday, and am going to view your latest video now before I find another excuse to delay it. Thanks so much for your wonderful compliments on my house work. I attempted to relax over the weekend for a change.
Definitely frustrating, but you did well to keep cool enough to request, and get, compensation. Even if you can take off work any time you want to, it was still your time and scheduled to theirs, not vice versa. Hope you're enjoying that HD tonight.
Hi Michael! Sorry for what you went through..(((HUGS))
Thanks so much for your comment! Great to see ya! Wow! That was very interesting! You mentioned this...
{I know that in at least one past life I was an African living in the area of Tanzania. My "life" according to the webpage was in Quebec in the 1700s.}
I know the webpage one was just for fun, but how did you find out about in at least one of your past lives you were an African living in Tanzania? I would love to know more details about how you found out, etc. when you have the chance if you feel like sharing the details!
Hope you have a great weekend! (((HUGS))
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