July 29, 2007

• Chitter Chatter Cafe Post: Relationships and Love

  A BLOGRING TOPIC POST

  Stephanie (xXxchi_cchickxXx) one of my “Internet Islanders” and also a subscriber to this blog, has a particpatory blogsite called the “Chitter Chatter Cafe”. She’s been trying to promote the site, and hasn’t had much luck. So I thought I’d write an entry for her Cafe this time out. Here is the link to the site.
  As with most of these types of sites, there are questions and topics for blog entries. I’ve divided the questions on her entry into six segments. All deal with “relationships and love”.

  
  “Todays topic is relationships and love. I will ask you a series of questions, and I would like you to write a post about one or more of these. “

  
  1.Remembering the Past: Alright, lets go way back. Who was your first crush? Don’t just tell us who it was though, tell us about how you meet, what he/she looked like and why you were attracted to them.

  I have to go really “way back” to recall my first crush, and although I claim I have an elephant’s memory, trying to remember what happened during the fifites is sometimes difficult. Her name was Kimberley, and she lived in the same culdesac where I lived back in 1958 and 1959 in Highland Park, CA. My family moved around a lot when we first relocated to California from Idaho in the late 50s. We “settled” in a small house on a culdesac which no longer exists, and Kimberley was the daughter of one of our neighbors. When I started school in the first grade at Garvanza school in Highland Park, Kimberley was in my class. As I mentioned, it is a bit difficult to actually pinpoint any conversations we might have had, or adventures we may have embarked upon, but sweet memory tells me we did pal around a bit, although not as “boyfriend and girlfriend”. I never gave her a ring from a box of cracker jacks or anything, nor did we pledge undying love. I noticed her first on our street, and then again at school. One memory I do have is going trick or treating with her.  I was attracted to her exotic good looks. (We were all of six years old at the time. I’d probably be more honest saying I thought she was cute.) And of course I’ve written a poem about her. Well, it’s more about memory and yearning, but the subject is “Sweet Kimberley’s Smile”.

  
  

  “Sweet Kimberley’s Smile”
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  Monday, June 21st, 2004 : 3:54 p.m. pdt

  At six or seven years of age,
  My poem book not yet counted a page.
  Wistful days spent in wileful way
  Summer sun glowing on children at play
  Grass seemed greener then, sky deeper blue
  Lie under an oak, remove sock and shoe
  Wiggle my toes in the tall summer grass
  Mem’ry brings back these bright days of my past

  The funny cartoons and kitty cats fill
  My time with sweet peace, and Pooh on the hill
  Not yet waving goodbye, but hi hello to all
  The days grow much longer in memory’s thrall
  Nothing difficult seemed, all’s easy and fun
  Gath’ring time stops the sand, and through meadows I run
  The world is a wonderful world far away
  Experience fills as the time of the day

  When life’s in bloom in younger times
  No need for pain or for hunger. Climbs
  The peaceful rest of naivete born
  Naught a thought is fraught with fate forlorn
  Play filled up my days and nights
  Eradicating all false fears and frights
  Wiggle my toes in my memory’s field
  Before life chips away at my own childlike shield

  At six or seven years of age,
  I hadn’t yet written my life on the page
  I still read sweet words of my bright happy muse
  Nothing could stop imagination I use
  Full filling fulfilled, with deep care in her eyes
  A young lass appeared under transcendent skies
  My youth fell in love which transcends all the while
  I will always remember Sweet Kimberley’s smile

  2.Dating: Do you have any particular routines for your dates like gathering your lucky charms before you leave your house, taking a long meditative bath, or kissing their hand once you see each other?

  I call my infrequent trips around town with Liz “excursions”. I don’t really “date” anymore. I’ve always gone out with my girlfriends over the years, but I’ve never actively “dated”. I’ve written on this blog before about the great times I had in my apartment in Torrance when I first moved to the South Bay in the early 70s after my parents passed away. In one year, I was “seeing” three different gals who lived in the same apartment building as I did. Dates in those days were usually to Country and Western bars. But mostly my “dates” during the sexual revolution were “quiet nights at home” followed by rigorous sex. When I was in college, however, before moving to the South Bay, and before “dating” my first girlfriend Ruth (and most of those dates involved going to the movies or a concert, then spending a “quiet night at home” followed by rigorous sex.) I did meet a gal at a USC party, in 1973, Theresa, and I remember very well the preparations for dates with her, and the experience of the “dates” themselves. Before going to a restaurant, I would make reservations. I would buy flowers to present them to Theresa at the door to her house when I picked her up, and yes, I ‘m the romantic type who kisses the hand of my date on the stoop before going in to meet her parents. I don’t call Theresa one of my “girlfriends” although I did write poems about her (but not “for” her). We had a “whirlwind” courtship which consisted of “just dates”. We never had sexual congress and I stopped seeing her almost immediately when I once bicycled to her house for a supposed time “together” and was a tad disappointed in the outcome, of which I will discuss in the next section to this prompt.

  3.Would you rather tell us about your most embarrassing/romantic/best and worst date?

  My most embarrassing “dates” were both with Theresa. As I did with all my “girlfriends” and female friends during the 70s, I lent my rather large three ring binder full of my collected poems to Theresa so that she could “read me like a book” before our first date, which almost didn’t happen. During a two week period, after first having seen this delicious dark haired beauty hobnobbing around the pool at a Frat party at USC where I went to college, we went out almost every other night, and got to know each other pretty well. Our first date was to an art theater in Long Beach to see a film I enjoyed, and wanted her to see. In those days before home video, it was pretty difficult to pick a movie you really wanted to see unless it happened to be playing somewhere, usually at an “art theater” at a certain time. We had begun our friendship with a film discussion around the pool at that party, and Theresa had turned me on to one of her favorite films, which happened to be screening at one of the classes at school. (I minored in film history in college). My pick for the next night, and our first actual “date” was “Electra Glide In Blue”, directed by James William Guercio, and starring Robert Blake as a motorcycle cop. It was sort of an “anti-Easy Rider” film which I and my brother had seen during it’s initial release and loved. I couldn’t get a table reserved at the restaurant in which I wanted to eat with her, so our meal wasn’t as “romantic” as I had planned, taking place at a restaurant near her home. Then we almost missed the beginning of the movie. I like everything to be perfectly planned, but Long Beach is about 30 miles from where Theresa lived, and we almost didn’t get to the theater on time. There was really no embarrassment, and we did see the film, and then returned to her house for late night drinks and a friendly kiss. She hadn’t read any of my poems yet, so we couldn’t discuss my poetry.

  The next time we went out, a couple of nights later, I chose a then famous hamburger joint in Pasadena with a “fifties” feel and a jukebox. I can’t remember now what the rest of the evening was to have entailed. I only remember it ended before it began.Theresa was experiencing her period during this time, and she couldn’t eat anything she ordered, and she didn’t feel good so I ended up taking her home after our ill fated dinner. I went home and wrote a few poems. She still hadn’t read any of my poetry I lent her.

  The third “strike” which ended this nascent relationship and nipped it in the bud pretty quick was about a week later. We had spent two or three more “dates” with each other, and she still hadn’t read any of my poetry. USC is south of downtown Los Angeles, and Theresa lived about half way between the school and Glendora, 60 miles to the north, where I lived. On a Saturday afternoon, she had invited me to come to her house, and I was getting into bicycling at the time, so I hopped on my bicycle, and pedalled the 30 miles to her house. I still remember the bike trip quite well, and when I got the Theresa’s I was out of breath, but anticipatory of the delights I hoped I would find that afternoon. Two major disappointments greeted me. One, she still hadn’t read any of my poems. And two, she had two other guys over at her house. She was “entertaining” her beaux all at once.

  I was a little nervous and upset. I spent a few hours socializing. (I’ve always been good in a crowd.) Then I asked for my volume of poetry back, lying that I needed to lend it to someone else. I hopped back on my bike, said my goodbyes, and pedalled out or her life forever. It just so happened that I would soon lend my volume of poetry to my friend Steve’s girlfriend Paula, and Paula’s best friend and my soon to be girlfriend Ruth would ask to meet me after she read a few of my poems. So one door closed but another opened in it’s stead.

  
  4. How would your dream proposal go?

  I proposed to Pat three times in the three years I lived with her. She kept putting off her answer. Then she cheated on me, giving me the excuse I needed to leave her. I would guess that my dream proposal is still a dream, and I don’t know how it goes, because I don’t know if I have yet met the one to whom I would propose.

  
  5.Hearts shattered: Have you ever broken up with someone? why? what was your worst break-up like, and why was it so bad?

  I’ve already written about this at length in Chapter Seven of ‘My Sexual History”.
  I gave up my relationship with Ruth, which was a strong one, because I wanted to have sex with another gal. (I’d never “cheat” on someone. It isn’t in my nature) My decision turned out to be incredibly faulty, because the redhead with whom I was in lust turned out to be somewhat frigid, and the sex was anticlimactic, to say the least, and I lost Ruth forever.

  
  6.What has been your most romantic moment?

  My most recent most romantic moment was Sept. 3, 2005. I’d met Liz through Xanga, and we’d been seeing each other as friends for about a year, going on ‘excursions’ all around Southern California. On Sept. 3rd, she came over to my house to watch my “MikeVideos”, having seen all the ones I had online at the time. I couldn’t believe that she sat through almost four hours of assorted videos starring “me” and didn’t get bored. I even was beginning to tire of seeing my own mug on my bigscreen TV as the evening progressed. After the “movies” had all unspooled, we began to talk about our relationships, and got a little closer together. We talked about some of the Xangan guys she had fantasized about, and I asked her if she’d ever had any fantasies involving me. Both our fantasies became fact a few moments later and she spent the night. We hardly see each other anymore, since she became involved in the “MiceChat” group and goes to Disneyland every chance she gets. But I still look back on that moment a couple of years ago as my most recent “romantic” moment.

  • 12:22 pm
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