July 25, 2007

• Celebutante Watch: Mean Cops bust Lindsay Lohan on a Freaky Tuesday

  

  "If Paris got 23 days for just driving on a suspended license, I hope Lindsay doesn't get the same judge, or she might have to be sent to the gas chamber"..........Michael Nyiri, upon hearing the news of Lindsay's latest arrest.

  Poor, poor, Lindsay. She's in trouble again. Coincidentally, the name of the film which keeps getting postponed during her bouts with the law and troubling behavioral stints is "Poor Things". Lindsay, who skyrocketed to fame as a child actress back in 1998 at the age of 12 in the Disney remake of "The Parent Trap", has lately been the subject of quite a few run ins with the law, owing to her "party hardy" attitudes and no holds barred lifestyle.

  She turned 21 just this month. Happy Birthday, sweetie. Hope you live to be 22. It wasn't enough that film directors write scathing letters attesting to her spoiled brattiness, or that she crashes her car into the nearest hedge and walks away from the scene. It wasn't enough that she's been in and out of rehab so much that they're probably installing revolving doors on the facility. Her latest escapade involved running down the mother of her personal assistant while wearing her 'ankle bracelet' from the last run in with the law, her car filled with friends, possibly goading her on, and with cocaine in her pocket.
  Seriously, if she isn't sent to the gas chamber for this kind of antisocial behavior, I shudder to think of what she's going to get involved in next.

  To sum up, she was just released from rehab, and probably grabbed a little bit of cocaine in order to celebrate. I'd like to caution poor LIndsay that back in the day, we rarely rode around with our drugs in the car. Especially cocaine, which gives one a false sense of superiority as it is. Leave the drugs at home. After the cops catch you for allegedly trying to run over your ex assistant's mom, they'll probably sniff out the coke. And of course they did.

  Her personal assistant had just quit, and Lindsay was driving around a parking lot with two friends in her SUV chasing down the mother of her ex assistant. It must have been quite humorous. I can hardly wait for the reality show. Remember, Selena's ex fan club president killed the singer, so Lindsay should be more careful when dealing with her employees.

  Lindsay Lohan was so cute when she was young. Of course, so were Danny Bonaduce and Mackenzie Phillips. Haley Mills and Annette Funicello would never have caused any trouble for Disney. Annette didn't even wear bikinis in her beach party movies so as not to upset "Daddy Walt". But Walt has been dead for years, and both Lindsay and present ex child star and mousketeer Britney Spears have had their share of troubling times. Must be a bitch to be a celebutante in the 21st century.

  I can't help but remember that both Michael Jackson, who was acquitted of child molestation charges, and Robert Blake, who was acquitted of murder, were both child stars, albeit a long long long time ago. Paris Hilton went to jail (for 23 days, and without special treatment, or so Sheriff Baca claims) so in light of the fact that Lindsay must be on her third strike by now, I hope she isn't lost in the prison system for most of her upcoming budding career. (If she isn't gassed)

  She should have "just said no". But then, when is a party girl in L.A. ever going to forego the party?  "Never" is the answer to that question.

  Lindsay gave the following statement about the drugs found in her pocket and the chase in the parking lot of the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. "I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

  I wonder if the ankle bracelet was just too tight. Or else this is just a publicity ploy for her latest film. "I Know Who Killed Me", which opens this weekend.

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  Seriously, young celebrities are role models for millions of youngsters. I know the teenaged years are angst filled and bothersome, but these "poor little rich girls" (the title of a Shirley Temple movie, she's an ex child star these gals should be emulating) are spoiled lousy rotten. Some troubled child stars (Drew Barrymore comes to mind) eventually outgrew their shenanigans. But there seems to be an alarming amount of recent young actresses getting in trouble, and I hate to think about what this does to their fanbase. Miley Cyrus, are you listening? Stay sweet and, if not entirely innocent, at least remain law abiding. Don't break our achy hearts, if you know what I mean. My favorite young celebrity of the moment isn't in the news that much, possibly owing to the fact that she doesn't get in trouble. Mandy Moore is responsible, goes to church, and loves her family. She's a great role model. Lindsay might just be too far gone. (The gas chamber is no longer used in the State of California. Lethal injection was approved in 1993 for capital punishment in the state. But the word "gassed" is funnier. Also, the image above is a very quick composite I made this morning. MFN) (Latest News about Lindsay: HERE. )

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