November 23, 2005

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  I belong to two separate webrings, as do a lot of my readers, which have both posted similar "topic" challenge posts this week. The first, Socrates Cafe ® , run by Simone de Beauvoir, has posed the question  Topic 12: What are you thankful for? Why? The ring Grownups with Content Worth Being Featured  run by Denise asks "What am I most thankful for?" There are slight differences in the tone and wording of the question, but basically, these questions ask the same thing. They are the basis for thousands of ubiquitous "Thanksgiving" pages on blogs and websites for many years. The "holiday" of Thanksgiving has been in existence in the U.S.A. since the time of the "Pilgrims", some of the first settlers in the country. Reasons and history of the holiday will be rampant on any number of sites.

  
  

  In the spirit of the Socrate's Cafe, however, I have been pondering the concept of "gratitude". "Thanksgiving" is defined sometimes as a benediction or prayer. To "whom" do we give thanks and why. We can look around and be thankful for our own existence, our health, our family and friends, and our own determination, wherewithal, and stamina involved in the very act of living in the modern world. We can thank God, the Great Spirit, the cosmos, our own inner spirit and intellect. We can be fearful of events beyond our control, and then be thankful that we have been passed by. If disaster has struck us or our families and friends, we can be thankful that it wasn't worse.

  
  

  Some denizens of existence might not even care to BE thankful. They might feel and think as if the world is coming to an end, because perhaps their own personal world has seemed to terminate, and they don't feel thankful, but angry and upset. There are many reasons why people think and feel the way they do. In America, the Thanksgiving Holiday usually means eating a 'feast' consisting of traditional foodstuffs, which usually includes Ben Franklin's idea for a symbol of the country itself, the turkey, and a "prayer" of some sort, to "give thanks" to the Godhead for sparing us another bad winter.

  
  

  The concept of "giving thanks" as a prayer predates Christianity. Early man watched the cycle of the seasons, planted crops, and harvested them for sustenance during the cold winter season. If the crops failed, the tribe would thin, and in times of bounty, which sometimes might be precluded by animal or human sacrifice to "appease" perceived angry "gods", the tribe would "thank" the gods for smiling on them. The "Holiday" of Thanksgiving has roots which reach back to early religions, although the "Pilgrims" were a Christian sect.

  
  

  I, like many other Americans, set aside a few moments during the Holidays to give thanks for my existence, no matter how difficult or unseemly it might be, because I am always an optimist, and no amount of "bad luck" or "crop failures" really get me down to the point that I can't be thankful I am still here. My youthful suicidal urges and depressions are always sent back to the nether regions of my intellect when I concentrate on the more positive aspects of society and living. I have penned a few poems which relate this thanks throughout my life.

  
  

  The first was written after my mother's bi lateral stroke, when I was 19, while she was hospitalized and the future didn't look particularly blissful or complete. She died a few years later, still basically a "vegetable". My father passed away two years after wrting this poem. The second poem was written in 1978, at age 25, during my "Cathy phase" when I loved a gal who didn't love me. I don't call the piece "a Cathy Poem" but basically, it is, and addresses her by name. The third was penned last year at this time, and was featured on this blog in 2004. I just wrote the last one this morning, and it alludes to my meeting Elizabeth earlier this year.

  
  

  There is lots to be thankful for, even if one doesn't realize it. Look around. Breathe deep. Relax for a moment, and take stock of the love and care we have in our lives, and say a small prayer of gratitude, to whomever or whatever you might pray. The prayer is answered on a daily basis, as the sun and moon cycle over head as they have for millennia.

  
  

   

  
  

  "Thanksgiving Prayer"
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri © 1972: 19 years old

  
  

  
  Thank you Lord
  Though my mom is lying in the hospital right now
  Though the doctors say she might not...
  Though my dad is crying in his heart
  every night
  Though my sister thinks she's found a love
  At last
  And nobody knows if it'll hold on
  Though my brother is reaching
  That stage of life when uncertainty
  Becomes the daily watchword
  Though my friend might be drafted
  Into a war he never asked for
  Though my world seems more
  at a standstill than it ever did
  Before.

  
  

  Thank you for the sun rising in the morning
  Thank you for the faces I see on the street
  Thank you for the animals
  Who cannot talk but still can communicate
  Thank you for my world
  No matter how bad it may be

  
  

  Thank you that I can still cry

  
  

   

  
  

  "A Thanksgiving Prayer 1978"
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © Thursday, November 23rd, 1978 12:15 p.m.

  
  

  
  At times I feel everything is perfect
  A beautiful morning makes me want to
  burst into song
  (like in the movies)
  I get that feeling like I used to back in
  college when I'd drive down the freeway
  after classes thinking - this is it - the
  catharsis - me and my my machine - alone - together
  winding down the ribbon of asphalt -
  nothing to mess up my thinking -
  total control...
  I can reach out and hug strangers
  on the street - I feel like
  SCREAMING
  "I'm alive - can you feel it?"

  
  

  And at times like this I miss you most.

  
  

  Then

  
  

  At times I feel like the world doesn't
  want me around -
  A friendly compliment makes me mad
  I feel everybody is playing the game
  of MindF**k -
  I lash out at people - objects - ideas -
  situations
  I'd punch the mirror if it would hurt
  me -

  
  

  And at times like this you always
  seem to be around

  
  

  I'm okay
  I'm not crying now (well, hardly)
  It's a beautiful day
  And I view a verdant field
  - and you and I are in the picture
  Caressing each other with our dreams
  And comforting each other with
  our desires.

  
  

  If only
  If only
  If only I could open up all the time
  And feel like it's all right
  then I wouldn't worry too much
  about your leaving
  The problem is with my conception -
  I warp it all the time to please
  myself

  
  

  There are only a few clouds
  rimming the horizon
  The sky is a brilliant blue
  The birds singe innocently
  I'll see you again
  And I'll counter your smile with my own
  You are a separate being
  Because you're a human spirit
  And I love you for that
  Too.

  
  

  Thank you Cathy
  Thank you world.

  
  

  
   
  "Thanksgiving Prayer 2004"
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © 11/23/04 5:14 a.m. pst

  
  

  Walls of debt, unscalable, portending certain hardship
  (But 'twas my cavalier decisions at the cause)
  Lack of romance and close friendships
  (But I'm better off than most of humanity this holiday)
  Depressions which last longer as the wrinkles increase
  (But so what?, life goes on, or else it stops)

  
  

  Impossible feelings when I read the newspaper
  (Yet similar events have been happening all my life)
  Increasing fear that somehow all is wrong
  (Yet a light shines into the darkest depths of despair)
  Another holiday meal spent in a restaurant alone
  (Yet at least I'll have a feast, some won't)

  
  

  Manmade appliances seem to fall into disarray
  (Still sunrise and sunset calm us with each cycle)
  Doubts and dissensions plague our daily element
  (Still the the cats purr for my attention and I smile)
  Sometimes Thanksgiving seems to have no definition
  (Still serenity ekes a willing and graceful answer) 
   
  A hummingbird trills his small but mighty wings
  Hallelujah, true, life is wrought with pain and suffering
  An Angel with her throaty voice still sings
  A sudden cloudburst serves a cause for buffering

  
  

  These plights are nothing, in the grander scheme
  And as I look Heavenward, I thank thee for everything

  
  

   

  
  

  Thanksgiving Prayer 2005
  Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
  © 11/23/05 4:28 a.m. pst

  
  

  Another milestone passes on the road to eventual salvation
  Another year filled with doubts, deliberations, and denial
  Another chance for satisfaction and conversation with peers
  Another day, another thankful prayer.

  
  

  Gratitude gives hope to petty permanence
  Thanking my personal God and Great Spirit
  for a chance to breathe without predicament
  To sigh in wonder
  As I watch the sunrise and sunset of cosmic stability
  Again and again,
  Never slighted or apathetic when entranced with existence

  
  

  I still stand with both feet on the ground
  I still wish to touch humanity's face
  I still relish my friends both real and virtual
  And sometimes the virtual becomes real
  As happened this year,
  Giving me happiness and love

  
  

  My prayer is duplicated and subdivided
  Spinning and shooting through heaven with a purpose
  Doubling back upon me with everlasting love
  My prayer is overflowing with gramercy and gratefulness
  Gauging gargantuan graciousness
  Going the distance of my dilemmas
  Drowned in exciting premonitions of hopefulness

  
  

  Another milestone breaking the millstone of murkiness
  As love and understanding seep through my soul
  I may feast alone as usual,
  But my love feasts on grateful goodness
  In the bower of humanity this Thanksgiving Day

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