August 20, 2005
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The year 1978 was the year of "The Cathy Poems", 60 pieces written for Cathy Davidson, who never returned my love. I gave her a bound book of the poems when we parted forever. Some of the poems have been only recently transcribed. None of these poems are yet featured on my website as yet, and all were transcribed just this morning. The first and second poems here are not really "Cathy Poems", but the remainder are. "SlipStream" is directed at "the girl in dreams" and "The Truth Will Out" is one of the series of "questioning" poems from the period. I've cleaned up some of the language with astersisks.
"SlipStream" (to the nymph)
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
© 7-29-78 7:00 p.m.
I am the virgin love
Stalking my prey
If you're out there
Tell me today
But you must be hiding
I know you exist
I can feel your presence
Your passionate kiss
One feels with anger
And one feels with glee
One feels with all
And that one is me
Swim by my shoreline
Entice all around
And when you shall see me
then love shall be found
"The Truth Will Out"
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
© 7-30-78 7:00 p.m.
Sit down alone with the stereo off
Listen to the multifaceted sound
created by the mind to fool the soul
Ponder, the soul doesn't exist
The mind doesn't exist
The truth was always escaping
Because the truth doesn't exist
Yes
The unattainable love force has always
been avoiding me
and
I've been lifting the lids off of
garbage cans for a long time.
True
I attach this label to different
girls as time goes on
True
I seem to strive for suffering
I seem to want to suffer
Yet
I also want to be happy
Yet
I can't be - Everyone criticizes.
Everyone...
I'm not right--
I'm not in touch --
I'm imperfect--
But my mind speaks out silently
Screaming that I'm right
Everyone else is wrong
Of course this is foolishness
I've got to be wrong
Reality always has the right face card
showing and I always have
to pay the house it's due
The house always wins
That's how the system works.
True
I never liked the system
I never liked the mindfu*king
and the bulls*it and the
lies and the backstabbing...
I never like to hear bad news
so I hardly ever open the mailbox
But
Time does no favors to those who wait
(And oft-used cliche but apt thinking)
What do 25 years mean when
taken as a whole.
Do I want to be sucked in?
Or
Do I want to control the situation.
There are ways
Subtle ways
Where you can control the situation
and nobody will know you're doing it
But
That's bulls*it
And I hate bulls*it
I'm an impatient motherfu*ker
I can wait for love forever
Because it doesn't exist.
I can strive for the truth
Because it doesn't exist.
My poor mother was right
when she said "your mouth
will get you in trouble" not because
she had genius. She simply spoke
from experience.
I can say "I don't care"
But that's bulls*it
I do care
I care about everything
I care what people think of me.
But
Nobody ever stops to think
What I might think of them.
And the big question is
(of course)
What the fu*k is anybody here for?
And if I listen to everybody
Where does that leave me??
I've often written
"I assume too much (as usual)"
It's getting to be a tired cliche
But
It's true
We only really know from what we
examine and what we hear.
And sometimes I will go over it
and over it and over it and know
I'm right although I'm told I'm
dead wrong.
But that's the system
and no opne can fool the system
unless you beat it from the inside
And this
I
have
to
learn.
"To Hold You Once Again" a Cathy poem (#50)
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
© 10-23-78 2:00 p.m.
My eyes reach out to touch you
To hold you with caring
To envelop you with knowing
My eyes believe they had something once
To hold onto
But now
A veil supercedes this vision
A cloudy veil
Masked with questions and unquenched feeling
My eyes are not strong enough
to lift this veil
As they try ever harder
The weight of the veil presses
Hard upon the pupils
And tears pour from their ducts
You smile, so do my eyes
for in a moment the veil is lifted
And they see you as you were
Not afraid
And unconfused
But now they are tired, and as
they swim through the tears
The veil falls again
And my eyes can't touch you
As they did
"The Sensitive Poet" a Cathy poem
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
© 10-23-78 4:00 p.m.
Once upon a time I asked for nothing
And you gave me more than I could ask
You gave inspiration a great something
Then inspiration belabored the task
I cry to God, am I not the
"Sensitive Poet"
?
Am I not a perfect purveyor of peace
in the midst of turbulent mindspasms
Am I not the author of revelation
as I listen to sad songs
God answers and says
I should not compress the love of
the ages
into a moment
Else I will escape the love
And crush the moment
Is that what happened?
Sensitivity is measured by
the look in your eyes
as you scatter care to the sky
and laugh knowingly -
Sensitivity is not an absolute
Yet your smile is benign-
Do I read "mocking" ?
Love will not mock
Yet I mock the feeling -
I ask multitudinous questions
with innocent eyes
(I used to close these eyes in
protest when the answer proved
to be wrong to them.)
Now I gape openly for truth
You give me truth and smile
And tell me not to be hurt.
I respect this
I respect you -
So my questions are answered
except what I need to answer
myself.
Once upon a time I held you close
And whispered love around your head
You gave me all and all you could
And I should crave this little instead.
"A Sad Song" a Cathy poem
Poetry by Michael F. Nyiri
© 10-23-78 4:30 p.m.
Like a puppy patiently waiting for it's master
yet anything but patient
Heart beating faster...
Once you could slow it until I felt ecstasy.
Like a flower waiting for the bee to come.
but closing at nightfall alone...
Once you caused my mind to buzz in rapture.
Like a thirsty vegetable anticipating the waters of purity
The waters flow
But they hardly sink into the pores
Once you could make me flow just by looking at me
The story goes that the puppy waited
for his master on the same streetcorner
Every evening -
And one day the man went away
never to return
The puppy stayed at the corner
Till the elements killed him.
A sad story.
I will be your puppy
And you will always appear
Then say you have to leave
And be a puppy for some other master
I'll keep waiting on the corner
for a miracle
Comments (12)
RYC about the Bleafonte movie---when you think of all the mindless crap they are remaking in Hollyweird NOW and then think of that movie you have to scratch your head and wonder:mad: Ofcourse, you'd have to cast Denzel in the remake, but WHERE would you get two other talented actors to pull off a thespian tour-de-force that could compare to the original
Might as well wait for the remake of *My Mother The Car*:lol:
BTW...saw it on PBS years ago
RYC: Shades of the ol' Trilateral Commission and Henry Kissinger? Egads, Gadzook.
:sunny::sunny::sunny::sunny:What an adventure ! THe poems, the music and the photos! So much to hear to see and read!!!! The photos of LA and subway are fantastic. I really like Union Station it takes me back in time...the scho the fountains. Last time I was there I bought and drink and sandwich at the Union bagel and sat outside by the fountain just to enjoy the atmosphere. then I took the Am track home it was a wonderful asventure so your photos brough it all back. When my friend visit here from Texas we parked athe Union Station and took a Dash mimi bus all around toen and syopped to take photos. Main stop was at the library great place. I like your perspective and composition! The third peom I liked the most! :sunny::sunny::sunny:
I've known too many Cathys already. So how nuts am I to want to meet all the rest of them before I run out of sperm? Love is grand. It also sucks. A guy can't win for losing, and he can never beat the house. (Thank heaven for Barbara.)
Mike, I have always enjoyed reading your poetry, but today i got a taste of your photo's too. I mean, I've always looked at the photograph's that you've posted but those ones of the city. With the two old men playing music! The buildings. The monuments. You have such an eye.
lisa
It's been several days since I've had time to visit, and there's so much to read! Your "Cathy" poetry is so heartfelt and personal it must mean a great deal to you to have this gift of expression!
The Pogo comic in one of your previous posts made me smile. I've lost track of Pogo, but when I used to read that strip regularly I was always impressed with how clever and timely it actually was.
You do have a great eye for photography, too! Take care, Mike!
Just wandered in uninvited.
I gotta tell you poetry is usually like nails on a chalkboard for me. Unatainable, high minded or fake deep mental abbreviations spewed by the pretensious for grand standing purposes only. But your stuff had me slowing down, reading and then reading more. Which rarely happens.
I don't know wether that's a compliment to you but I mean it as such.
I'm subscribing.
mike,
as I echo others and their comments, there is a lot to read here, very interesting...your poetry speaks volumes, as does your pictures...you took me back more than once...be back soon...
take care,
paulygrl
Wonderful selection Michael - I have two favorites today "The Truth Will Out" and "A Sad Song" I love reading such deep feelings, it helps me get in touch with my own.
Hi Michael!
Thank you for sharing your photos!
I loved Frank Gehry's Walt Disney Concert Hall, of course (its breathtaking...), and also found those reflections on that saints store window most interesting.
L.A. is certainly a wonderful city!
Your "Sad Story" remembered me "Ne me quite pas"... L'ombre de ton ombre, L'ombre de ta main, L'ombre de ton chien...
Have a nice week!
Isabel
P.S. I added you at my friends list as WhenWordsCollide instead of baldmike2004 because you refered to your site with that name. But I can put baldmike2004 if you prefer!
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