July 16, 2005

• My Sexual History: Chapter 6

  Now That I've Got Your Attention Dept. "My Sexual History"(Chapter 6) A Personal Journey through the pleasures of the flesh An "essay" by Michael F. Nyiri (begun in December 2004) (NOTE: I am presenting this latest series of "essays" in serial form here on WhenWordsCollide. I am currently posting the sixth chapter of this latest "reminiscence". I keep asking as I post these entries if my readers feel I should file them as "protected posts" because with each suceeding chapter, I am getting more detailed in what is happening. This, by far, is the most detailed chapter yet. So please let me know if you think children who might stumble across this could be coming across inappropriate material. I have no children, and I know that today's youth is far more intelligent and knowledable than my generation, and I am not attempting to write anything erotic, or purient, but merely honest and forthright. MFN)

  1. "Then the boy pees into the girl."
  2. "The Very First Kiss"
  3. "High School Daze"
  4.  "Stag Films and Frat Parties, Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll"
  5. "Whoreticulture: It's Cherry Poppin' Time"
  

  6. "Ruth, the Sexual Goddess"

  i:"Boy Meets Girl"
  The most intense and complete sexual relationship I have ever experienced began in the late summer of 1975, ten years after the fateful schoolyard conversation which started my inquiries into the wonderful world of carnal delight. The poetry I wrote in late 74 and early 75 is filled with pleadings for love, for an unattainable perfect love. "Sex is not love, Niether is yearning, or friendship, Or dating, Or being happy", I wrote, bathed, as I was, in the light of two weird and unthinkable couplings with a Hollywood hooker and a loose friend of my brother's aquaintence.

  In 1975, I was living in a small apartment close to where I had attended high school, and I soon moved to the South Bay area of Southern California when the then store manager of the retail store for which I worked secured a position as store manager at a new location. I was acting as the executor of my mother's estate after my father's death the previous year, and had to sell the family home in order for my mother to retain medicare benefits, so my brother had to move out and into an apartment of his own. Pretty much our "family" separated forever at this point. My sister was already married, and lived in Long Beach or San Diego, depending upon where her husband, who was in the Navy, was stationed at the time.

  My main social group during this time were friends which I had known since the eighth grade, and others met at the parties Steve and his girlfriend Paula threw in Paula's parents' mansion, which was a true "party house". I also still hung around with my old high school friends, although less so after moving to the South Bay, where I would meet many more friends, and establish another social circle. I was still living in my first apartment however when I met Ruth, who lived in Long Beach, and attended Cal State Long Beach, which is where my friend Steve also took classes. He had met Paula at college, and Ruth was one of Paula's better friends.

  I don't think this Steve and the other Steve, who was involved with Kathy, my first love, in high school, ever met. Each was in a different "circle of friends". I managed my social life like my complicated school and work life. I had always been good at "scheduling" and was always able to keep all my friendship circles separated into my different interests. The first Steve was religious and good for long conversations about the world, love, and politics. The second Steve was a secular partymonger with whom I 'partied'. I once attempted to "mix" the two experiences when attending a beach party with the first Steve, who also worked in a retail establishment as I did, and some of his workmates. He had confessed to me that one of the girls with which he worked, who had seen me hanging around the jewelry counter where he worked, had expressed an interest in me. At the beach party, I got drunk, and had a friendly tussle with the girl, Diana. Steve had gotten over his breakup with Kathy, the girl I had loved in high school when they were going together, and he, his then girlfriend, Diana, and I, went back to my apartment after the beach party. I attempted to seduce Diana, and she got perturbed, because I was rushing things a bit, still heady with the ease with which I had bedded Susan a few months earlier. This time I only wanted some sex. Diana held me back, however, and I later apologized for my brazenness.

  "The other Steve", who with Paula held the parties in her parents' house, introduced me to Ruth, Paula's friend, who had seen photos of me taken at one of the parties dancing with another girl. Our first meeting was at Steve's parents' house. In those days, I was the only one with an apartment. Everybody else still lived at home. But Ruth had an apartment too. She lived off campus in Long Beach. Ruth was pretty short in stature. I don't believe she was over 5 foot tall. She had short legs, a rather large head, big soulful eyes, and long luxurious brown hair that cascaded down her back. Her smile could stop an elephant in his tracks. Ruth was not what you would call beautiful, but she "beamed". Her most obvious "attibute" from the male sexual outlook, was the size of her breasts. Even if she had been taller, they would have been called large. For her size, they were mammoth. We hit it off rather well, but I must say that I know I didn't fall in love with her. There was a friendliness and camaraderie I felt during that first meeting sitting on Steve's couch in his parents' living room while he and Paula busied themselves back in his bedroom. We talked about my poetry mainly. That was always my icebreaker in those days. She had read some of the poems I had loaned Paula. To tell the truth, I had a sort of a "thing" for Paula, who was blonde, big boned, and statuesque. Ever since I fell in love with Kathy, my majorette from high school, I seemed to favor tall women with long legs. Paula was magnificent looking and her smile outshone the sun. However she was in love with Steve, and he her. After my conversation with Ruth, which lasted a few hours, I gave her my "poetry volume" which was a three ring binder containing all of my poetry. We made a date to get together the following week at her apartment one day after I got off work.

  My retail schedule was always rather malleable. I worked both day and night shifts, and lots of weekends, so my day off was usually in the middle of the week. Our meeting was to be on a Friday, after her classes, which were in the morning, ended. I got off at about 5pm on the day of our second meeting, and I drove to Long Beach to visit her. She had read most of my poems and the appointed date couldn't come fast enough. Although she wasn't my "type" physically, I did catch the spark of affection in her when we first met, and I was pretty full of myself knowing that she liked my poetry. I wrote her a poem, spelling her name anacrostically down the first letters of one of the verses. This never failed to impress gals for whom I had done it in the past.

  This was the beginning of our beautiful friendship. It wasn't to last long, and my purposeful search for "love" was not over, but sex would be a great part of our relationship. Ruth was majoring in sexual education at CSULB, and she had lots of knowledge concerning desire, sexual satisfaction, and pleasing one's partner. As our relationship was to continue, for about a year, I found my own sexual center, and had some of the best times I have had in my life. We didn't have sex at her apartment that afternoon, however, because my body tried to rush things a bit too soon.

  Ruth lived in one of those older, fairly small apartments which are scattered around north Long Beach. There was only one room, with a pull down bed. The plumbing creaked. The walls had been painted over so many times that they displayed a thickness which looked like the entire place had been dumped in some giant bucket of off white paint. There was a small bathroom and kitchen, with an old gas stove. The place was pretty spartan, but Ruth was young, and this was her first time away from home. We greeted each other with a hug, something with which I was still not too comfortable, as I had never really liked to be touched. She returned my poetry, after I read some of the pieces to her out loud.

  She told me her family history. We shared our philosophies and our lists of likes and dislikes. She cooked me a casserole. The late afternoon disappeared into the early evening. We were sitting on the sofa, pretty close to each other, and the magic time appeared as if in one of the romantic motion pictures I have always loved. We shared a kiss, long, succulent, and flavorful. Her lips were thick, and our saliva mixed with our tongues, forging new pathways within our shared cavern of ecstasy. This foreplay seemed to last for hours, but probably took place within twenty or so minutes. I had advanced from a serious prudishness to an unmatched sexual hunger in only about six months. The hooker was like a plastic doll, and I couldn't kiss the hooker. Susan had been willing and eager, but my mind was still mixed up at the time of our coupling.

  Memories of kissing the three girls after dance practice back in high school, and kissing Emma, my sister's best friend, were all encompassing compared to the "fuc*ing" of the whore and to the evening tryst with Susan. But kissing Ruth was like entering the gates of some seething heavenly place. We experienced a shared journey of discovery with our mouths, teeth, and tongues. Ruth and I tussled, still with our clothes on, eventually lying supine on the sofa, and engaged in some petting. Her breast, felt through the cloth of her blouse, and under her massive brassiere, was smooth and round. Her private area rubbed against my hips as we kissed.

  The moments passed as if in a dream. Although I didn't intellectualize a feeling of "love" in my heart for her, I was thoroughly enjoying myself, and was sure that sex, which was rapidly approaching the point of no return, was going to be fantastic. As these moments were passing as if in slow motion, my seething manhood came to attention, but he wasn't on the same wavelength as my mind. He was a bit too eager, and all the rubbing going on down between our legs was a bit much on the poor boy. I ejaculated much too prematurely, and felt somewhat embarrassed and at a bit of a loss for explanation.

  As the wet, slimy semen load oozed itself down my inner thigh, I immediately sat up, and ended the foreplay. I can't remember exactly what I said. I know I felt ashamed and angry at myself. I have always prided myself on my honesty, but I wasn't honest with Ruth. I made some feeble excuse about having to leave. For me, the kissing and fondling seemed like hours, but in actuality I was probably on the sofa with her for a little over a half hour. I am sure she was totally perplexed. We were rubbing ourselves like we were in heat, and then suddenly, I had to leave and end our passion. Ruth was confused, and I left her at the door, collected my volume of poetry, and went out to my car.

  I called her from a phone booth, still in Long Beach, after I had cleaned myself up, muttering tourettelike to myself that I really screwed up a possible relationship before it had even started. My pride was wounded, and on the phone, I offered further excuses and apologies. For some unexplained reason, I still can't find myself to acknowledge even today, I didn't call her for about two weeks after my "accident" and this caused her further confusion.

  Ruth asked Steve what was wrong with me. Steve and I had a "man to man" but I still couldn't relate the truth of what had happened. I don't even think I mentioned the foreplay to him. He did tell me that Ruth was on the point of becoming angry at me if I didnt' call. I didn't know what to say to her, and so I stayed "away from the situation". This is not a nice thing to do when courting someone, and eventually I did call. We did get back together, and I did tell her exactly what had happened. We both had a laugh over the nonsensical first coupling together, and our second try was a bit more daring and much more satifactory for both partners. My climax the next time occurred at the end, rather than at the beginning of the act, as it should.

  ii: "Boy Gets Girl"
  The first time we had sex was in her apartment a few weeks after the first mishap. The act lasted about two hours. Foreplay was intense and delicate. Since I had already been completely truthful with her, and since she was certainly no prude, our time together in sexual ecstasy was certainly quality time. We pulled down her bed, and I spent the night experiencing bliss of which I had heretofore been unknowing. Her body was not perfection, but her large mountainous breasts, slim flat stomach, short but attractively proportioned legs, and her glowing smile and long soft hair were enough to get me excited as I had never been excited. We didn't just "have sex" in the missionary position, as with the whore and with Susan. We were completely in tune with each other's needs. I was able to penetrate her easily and smoothly, after twenty or so minutes of lubricating her through cunnilingus. As soon as I tasted the nectar which flowed from between her legs, I knew I had found a taste I liked better than any meal I had tasted before. I couldn't get enough, and as I gobbled, Ruth complied by giving me more to eat.

  Our eventual coupling was not brief, but elaborate, experimental, and athletic. We moved from the bed, to the sofa, to the floor, connected with a friendly sexual exhuberance that happens when two young healthy people find a common ground in which to exercise their passions. Our passions were inexhaustable, and after our mutual climax, we immediately began the foreplay, the oral satisfaction, and the penetration again, and again and again.

  By the time I left her house the next morning, with the knowing birds tweeting their song of love, I knew that Ruth and I would be a fine couple. I still didnt' "love" her as I had Kathy, or thought I had with Emma. Our relationship, based on Ruth's love of my words, and cemented in a night of glorious sexuality, was going to be a long and interesting one. I left the apartment happier than I had ever been. From a miscued start, we rounded the first bend of our shared journey with mutual admiration and we had both enjoyed a sexual coupling that belonged in the letters section of a Penthouse magazine, at least in my "male" mind.

  We hooked up at another of Steve and Paula's parties a few days later, and we had a pretty deep conversation while sitting in the gazebo in the back yard. Young men and women were strolling the yard, which was more of a garden, with pathways, hedges, and groups of flowers in arranged areas, so that twenty or so people could be in the garden, and still be essentially alone together. In the house, there was the usual amount of dancing, and drinking, but back in the gazebo, at the far corner of the yard, we could browse the complete party, as if we were watching a movie. The turmoil and cacophany of the party seemed miles removed from the dark cool atmosphere of the gazebo. Ruth and I kissed, fondled, and became as one soul, connected to eternity. In our previous encounter, I had performed cunnilingus on Ruth. Here, sitting in the gazebo, and without a second thought, my paramour skillfully unzipped my fly, and began to massage my growing penis. She freed it from it's saddle in my briefs, allowing for a quick stab of the cool air, before her mouth engulfed me. Here we were, sitting in an open gazebo on the grounds of Paula's house, and she gave me my first head. I didn't come too quickly this time, thankfully, and I enjoyed this forbidden action. When my climax was achieved, she swallowed the ejaculate like a frothy vanilla milk shake, enjoying the warm flow of life slide down her throat. There was no mess, and no fuss. Although I had just ejaculated, in youth, I was able to return to a rigid state fairly quickly.

  We walked briskly through the garden, into and out of the house, and out into the circular driveway which was at the front of the house. My car, a 1961 bullet nosed Thunderbird, which was a classic, sat stealthily on the circle. The party was in full swing, so there were dozens of people arriving and leaving. I unlocked the door, and Ruth and I slid into the back seat. Within minutes the window glass was fogged, as we kissed and fondled,  and although we didn't remove our clothes, I postitioned my pants down below my ankles, and Ruth mounted me after pulling her panties to one side. We stayed in the car for about an hour, and since I had come earlier in the gazebo, I didnt' come this time, but remained hard, and satisfied my new lover completely.

  Every one was missing us at this point, and when we finally returned to the party, a bit disheveled by heartily satisfied and vigorous, we winked at both Steve and Paula, who knew exactly what was going on. I was now fully initiated into the sacred rights of carnal knowledge. I didn't need movies, books, or dirty conversations with my male friends any more. I had a girlfriend who was not only sexually open, she was knowledable about sexual practice and health. She had an IUD, so I didn't have to worry about condoms, and we were able to "feel" our fleshy exploits without any covering of ourselves. We became an "item" and I dated her exclusively, turning away from my other social circles. My friend Tom, and the other Steve, had to wait sometimes months for my presence. I moved to the South Bay right after I met Ruth, and I was closer to Long Beach. We attended concerts, saw dozens of movies, and went out to dinner together.

  Our sexual shenanigans were taken to new heights each time we spent the night either at my place or hers. One time we actually performed the act to climax fourteen times. We rarely slept when we spent time with each other. Our sexual current was never shut off. We would sneak feels while driving, with her sister in the car. We once performed "silent sex" while after bringing her sister and a friend back to her apartment. The other girls slept on the floor, and Ruth and I could hardly contain our laughter as we coupled on the bed. Each meeting brought new delights. One time I brought out a marijuana cigarette, and we smoked some pot before sex. The feeling for me at climax was like a never ending stream of satisfying life blood was flowing from my body and into hers. These were the best months of my life up until that point, and in retrospect, they were probably among the best times of my entire life up to now.

  iii: "Boy Loses Girl"
  Everything comes to an end, and our relationship was to end about a year after we first met. It was my fault and my fault competely. I never fell in love with Ruth, no matter how delicious a relationship we had together.

  I did fall in love with a firery redhead named Elfie who joined the retail establishement in which I worked as a cashier. Each day I worked alongside Elfie, we got closer and closer to each other. Our conversations were sexually sparked. Elfie was one of those redheads with alabaster white skin. She wore her hair in a pixie cut, and she was covered with freckles. Her breasts were like torpedos, sticking out in pointed wonder. She was taller than Ruth, although not my "sexual" ideal, she was closer than Ruth, and like the classic "other woman", I spent a lot of time fantasizing about Elfie when I was with Ruth. Ruth became "routine" and Elfie became scintillating. I started attending some of the same parties Elfie attended. I was taking lots of drugs in those days, even though I was a department manager in a retail establishment, and most of the guys in my party circle in the South Bay worked either in the store, or as box boys. Three of my best friends worked in the department I mangaged.

  I would begin visiting both Elfie and her roommate Darlene at their rented house on the beach. I spent some time making out with both of them. All this happened while I was still seeing Ruth. I have always been honest and forthright in my dealings with people, and didn't want to "string" Ruth along as I maneuvered towards Darlene and especially Elfie. The conundrum for me was that I already had a wonderful sexual pairing with Ruth, yet I was attracted more to Elfie. One day I broke it off with Ruth. I honestly told her that I wanted to date other girls. I didn't mention however that I had another girl in mind. Ruth and I had our one and only argument the night I ended our relationship. She told me that I was giving up a good thing, and I knew it, but my sense of "love" told me that sex with Ruth was fantastic, but sex with Elfie would be even more fantastic, because I thought I "loved" Elfie.

  Ruth gave me chances, but I blew them off. Ruth gave me the opportunity to change my mind, but it was set in stone, as was my penis, fot the redheaded firery delights of Elfie's white soft form. Ruth became an obstacle, and I jumped over her. We parted ways, only to see each other a couple of times in the future, filled with visions of lost opportunities. I set my sights on Elfie, who filrted shamelessly with me at work, and let me feel her up even when we walked together in public. I felt a surge of wanting for coupling with Elfie that superseded my already fulfilling sexual garden of delights with my current paramour. I forsook my "bird in the hand" for the one out in the bush, who smiled so delightedly at me when we were together.

  Ruth slammed the door a bit harder than usual when she left my life. I do have regrets, and breaking off our relationship for another untested conquest is one of them. I fully admit I acted not only stupidly, but like a daredevil without a backup plan. I would soon find that the mistake I made was not only unrepairable, but unneeded and inescapable. I closed my book on Ruth, and opened a fresh page with Elfie. She wouldn't read my book as well as Ruth did, however, but I didn't know that when I approached Elfie for the first time after becoming "a free man".

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